card

[Anonymous]

My friend is still in the closet and still lives at home.

A few weeks ago, I mailed him a card. It took a while for him to receive it. Today I found out that he finally got the card. Unfortunately, instead of being the first one to open it, his mom opened it instead. As soon as my friend got home from work, his mom asked him if he was gay based upon the contents of the card.

This is the first time my friend got upset with me. I apologized for making him uncomfortable but I wonder if there is anything else I can do. Classic case of good intentions gone bad, right?

In the meantime, I will leave my friend alone and hopefully, everything works out for him. Although, I’m trying my hardest to stop myself from reaching out to him.

Lastly, it wasn't my intent to let the proverbial, "cat out of the bag."

[Albie]

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Eventually he will see your good intentions and come around.

[Iceblink]

A mom that has a child that is old enough to work is opening his mail? He is mad at the wrong person.

[East]

A mom that has a child that is old enough to work is opening his mail? He is mad at the wrong person.

Good point!

His problem isn't you...maybe you can help him see that. A lot of times guys need a push when they have an overbearing type mom. We all get used to things we grew up with ...and there are some things we need to unlearn.

Allowing his mother to invade his privacy is one of them. It is actually illegal for her to open his mail. It is not addressed to her.

[CellarDweller]

A mom that has a child that is old enough to work is opening his mail? He is mad at the wrong person.

My mother used to do that to me when I lived at home. It got to the point I was considering getting a P.O. Box for myself.

Before I could, my mother's friend (Diane) stopped by for a visit, and my mom let slip that she opened my mail. Diane replied that she couldn't believe that my mom would invade my privacy that way.

Never happened again after that.

You sent a letter to your friend that was supposed to be for his eyes only, she invaded his privacy.

[Anonymous]

So as an update, my friend is no longer mad at me or his mom, per se.

This was our first misunderstanding and the friendship has changed. Eventually, when everything resettles, hopefully it can go back to the way it was. But I doubt it.

For now, the fact that my friend is "talking" to me is enough. I just need to find a way to "un-develop" those feelings for him.

Although, I never imagined that our friendship would have developed into potentially something more.

The tales of the lovelorn

[meridannight]

missed this one when it was posted, but just wanted to say that i agree, his mom was the ONLY problem here. the fact that she is his mother doesn't give her the right to invade his privacy like that. i know there are women who think they are entitled to pull shit like that on their sons/husbands/boyfriends and such behavior is not to be tolerated. i trained my mom to not even step into my room without knocking+permission when i was in school and living with her, much less open my mail. but i was always good at that, setting boundaries that is. if you don't reinforce your boundaries when they are violated by someone who shouldn't do it, it only serves to encourage it further. something to keep in mind.