Thank You For Shopping at Wal-Mart

[Barefoot]

One day, in line at the company cafeteria. Joe says to Mike behind him, "My
elbow hurts like hell, I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's
a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten
seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small cup and takes it to Wal-Mart. He
deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the
computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank You For Shopping at Wal-Mart."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was. Joe began
wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm
sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the
results. He deposits ten dollars, pours In his concoction, and awaits the
results.

The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too Hard. Get a water softener (Aisle 9).
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with Anti-Fungal Shampoo (Aisle 12).
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins - They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better.

"Thank You For Shopping at Wal-Mart."