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My boyfriend cheated on me, and now my world is falling apart
#1
Hi guys, so here’s my story
I met my boyfriend Eric on Jack’d about three years ago. I found him a very smart and funny guy, and we really clicked well when we met; I just fell in love with him on our first date. He’s tall and handsome; he goes to gym three times a week so he’s in very good shape. He is only top and I’m only bottom, so we’re perfect match in our sex life as well. More importantly, we share the same “hobby”: we’re both into men in dress suits. We have a huge fetish for dress shoes and OTC socks; we both work in the office so we do wear suits almost everyday. Well I just can’t say enough how great he is and how lucky I am. Only three months later, Eric asked me to move in with him. Now we’ve been together over two years, I think I couldn’t be happier, and so do him. I even believe that he is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Last Christmas, I went back to visit my family in Denver, and I met John who just moved back from London. Our families have known each other over twenty years, and he has always been a big brother to me. John was also my first boyfriend (yes he is gay too); I was only 14 at that time. We never actually had sex (we did kiss and BJ each other, but we didn’t do anal). I thought I love him but then I realized I didn’t really feel the same way as he did, I only see him as my brother. After graduated from high school he went to college in England, we never officially broke up but that was pretty much how we ended. John told me that he had been missing me and suggested that he wished to be with me again, but I rejected him since I’ve already met Eric. Before I finished my visit, he told me he got a job in Houston so we would live close to each other again. However, he recently had some money issues so he was on a budget finding an apartment. I told him we have an extra room and he is welcome to stay with us as long as he wants without paying. After all these years that he’s been so good to me and taking care of me like a family, this is at least I could do. When I told Eric that John was gonna moved in with us for a while, it kinda bothered him that John used to be my boyfriend, but he still said yes.
Not surprisingly, they didn’t get along at first, and they even barely speak to each other if I weren’t present. John talked a lot of our funny stories in the past or people Eric doesn’t know. And also, John always walked around in the house only in his boxers and black OTC socks. I admit he is a hot guy (girls were killing for him in high school) and sometimes I couldn’t help being attracted to him. When he noticed it he would give me a sly smile, and then Eric would usually get pissed. I knew what John was up to, but sometimes I kinda enjoyed seeing Eric got jealous as long as John didn’t cross the line.
To “fight back”, Eric made me have sex with him every night during that time and always made it loud on purpose. One day we were about to go to bathroom clean up but caught John was jacking off at the door (apparently he was peeking). I just handed him some paper towels and didn’t really mind it. I understood he probably has not got laid for a long time so he got horny, that’s no big deal. Both Eric and I clearly saw John’s penis and he saw us naked too, which created some awkward moments between Eric and John after that night.
Later then I found things getting weirder and weirder between two of them, like sometimes Eric would keep staring at John. There was one evening when Eric and I were sitting on the coach watching TV, John walked out of his room in a tight boxer and tried to look for some snacks in the refrigerator. When he bended over his butt was facing to us, and then I found that Eric actually got hard, I saw an obvious big bulge there!!!
Ever since that evening, I have started keeping watch over them, and guess what I found then? I caught John sniffing Eric’s underwear and socks and he even stole some of them (he doesn’t know I saw him). That was when I realized the situation and decided that I had to do something before it gets too late.
While I was thinking how to nicely ask John to leave, I had a business trip to LA. While I was gone, I kept having a bad feeling and I was unable to concentrate at work either. Finally, I flew back to Houston without informing anybody on Wednesday night. Well, lucky for me, right after I opened the door I heard the sound of having sex and their moans from John’s bedroom. I kept hearing John said to Eric how great it feels, and Eric told John how much he loves fucking him and would love to fuck him everyday. This was totally a slap in my face: my ex who asked me to take him back now became my boyfriend’s bitch! How ironic is that? I know I should’ve stopped them, but I really did not have the courage to see that picture. In the end, I left the house without being noticed. I checked in a hotel that night and flew back to LA next morning. Now I am still in LA and have not contacted either of them yet. I’m already calm down, but I still don’t know what to do. I’m not sure how to face them when I go back, and what’s gonna happen then? I’m just so disheartened, is the relationship between two gay men really that fragile?
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#2
Quite Strange, but not surprising in the least. I have witnessed a lot of these mishaps, chance escapades, boyfriends cheating on partners, confused relationships, there's nothing uncommon to all of it. Your disappointment and frustration is quite justified, as you had trusted your bf, as well the ex, however, the situation that arose, gave both of them an opportunity to have a little pleasure with each other. You must confront both of these people,and tell them what you saw. Having spoken to both, you must figure if there's any point in continuing this relationship with your current partner. It is slightly confusing, however, looks like both of these people have been quite immature, and didn't realize the long-term effects of their act. I won't suggest you break up instantly, but surely express your disillusionment with both of them.
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#3
So you moved your sorta-ex into your home (apparently) without even consulting your current boyfriend, and you enjoyed having your sorta-ex flirting with both of you to make your current boyfriend jealous. Sounds like a pretty stable gay relationship to me.

My advice? It sounds like everybody's attracted to everybody, so why not just start having threesomes? "I saw you two having sex, and I'd like to get in on it, too."

Lex
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#4
This whole story is just SO fucking immature I can't even. Some people just love drama and you invited it into your life … literally and without consulting you BF … so if you're expecting some kind of sympathy from me you can forget it.

Actually, I totally agree with [MENTION=21778]Lexington[/MENTION] …

Forget the whole "cheating" BS… you're all horny young men and you want to fuck and get fucked… so DO IT and stop pretending you're in some kind of serious monogamous relationship. Given the absence of even the most rudimentary communication skills, you're obviously not.
.
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#5
I agree with them ^^^ Just have a 3way relationship and call it good. You're all friends (of some type), the attraction seems to be mutual all around, you're already all living together... it's a WIN-WIN-WIN situation.
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#6
Hate to sound harsh but you got exactly what you should have expected. You invited another guy, with whom you had unresolved history, into your home (which it appears was your boyfriend's home first) without even discussing it with him first. You then proceeded to both tease him and give signals that his teasing you was welcomed and appreciated, and you're really surprised that he ended up in bed with your man?

I feel sorry for you, not for anything either one of these guys did.

Oh, and welcome to Gayspeak. I would have made cake but we're having reality today instead.
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#7
AND another thing…. I loathe duplicity. As much as your BF and "ex" are "cheating" on you… you're "cheating" on them by withholding the fact that you HEARD them having sex… and that you have feelings about that. Rather than face them or confront them… you chose to run away.

Ok, fine. Maybe that is the way it needed to be handled right then and there. BUT if you have feelings about this, you need to own them and bring those feelings to the table… not dishonestly hide them from either of your "friends".

The problem with this whole situation is there isn't much honesty going on here… Everyone is acting out and not being honest (either with themselves or one another, apparently) about what they REALLY feel and REALLY want.
.
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#8
OK guys I have to clarify that I did not ask John to move in with us in order to make my boyfriend jealous, I was just trying to help. Like I said, we’re pretty close even we are no longer boyfriends. I did consult with my boyfriend, and of course he wasn’t excited about it, but he did not oppose either. And I was thinking maybe when he saw Eric and I are so good together he would just give up, but now it seems like I did a stupid thing.
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#9
JasonAndU Wrote:OK guys I have to clarify that I did not ask John to move in with us in order to make my boyfriend jealous, I was just trying to help. Like I said, we’re pretty close even we are no longer boyfriends. I did consult with my boyfriend, and of course he wasn’t excited about it, but he did not oppose either. And I was thinking maybe when he saw Eric and I are so good together he would just give up, but now it seems like I did a stupid thing.

To help explain how at least I reacted, look at the sequence in which you presented these things. You told John "yes" while you were still in Denver, and THEN you asked your boyfriend. And he had already suggested he still would like to pick back up with you despite being told you had a man, so hopefully you can see why to this old guy it would appear you had at least a clue this might lead to trouble.
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#10
My advice stands.

Lex
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