03-17-2015, 07:51 PM
Paraprosdokians....or figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.
[COLOR="Red"]1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
[/COLOR]
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
[COLOR="DarkOrange"] 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
[/COLOR]
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
7. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put "DOCTOR."
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]11. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
[/COLOR]
[COLOR="PaleGreen"]12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street...with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
[/COLOR]
13. Behind every successful man is his woman. And behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
[COLOR="Magenta"]15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
[/COLOR]
16. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
17. There's a fine line between cuddling and... holding someone down so they can't get away.
18. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
[COLOR="Red"][SIZE="3"]19. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
[/SIZE][/COLOR]
[COLOR="Red"]1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
[/COLOR]
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
[COLOR="DarkOrange"] 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
[/COLOR]
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
7. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put "DOCTOR."
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]11. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
[/COLOR]
[COLOR="PaleGreen"]12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street...with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
[/COLOR]
13. Behind every successful man is his woman. And behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
[COLOR="Magenta"]15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
[/COLOR]
16. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
17. There's a fine line between cuddling and... holding someone down so they can't get away.
18. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
[COLOR="Red"][SIZE="3"]19. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
[/SIZE][/COLOR]
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Capricorn
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Sagittarius
