I don't know what to do!
07-23-2015, 04:31 AM
I am of two minds on this.
The evil part of me wants to tell you to get some real hurtful experience and go for it, let him hurt you -
Why? Because this experience will leave a far lasting memory of hurt and pain and teach you to never mess with a "straight man".
The good side of me wants to warn you and tell you this isn't going to end well, in order to protect you from the inevitable pain, potential months even years of misery that playing this 'game' with him will give.
Frankly, back in my youth we didn't have the internet to turn to for people to tell us what to do or not to do, we did trial and error, the downside to that is that a lot of guys of my generation are bitter, jaded old queens (we all choose the lessons we take from any experience). The up side is we got hard won experiences which lead to a generation which just didn't mess around with "straight" guys and we kept the lines clear between the sexualities.
Personally I don't do straight or bi guys. Period. But then I have been the one to listen to the misery, whining, complaining, sniveling of gay guys who pursued the unattainable.
Of course this is still all your choice, but from my years - nay decades- of experience and listening to way to many gay guys falling for "straight" or "confused" fellas, chances are very high that this is not going to end well, and will pretty much end up wrecking you for other, better potential gay men who are around but you can't see because you are focused on this one dude who doesn't or isn't able to give you a full, real relationship.
I could go on for many pages about 'mixed' relationships, between HIV+ and HIV-, and "Straight" and "Gay" and closet and out of the closet and lots of others - these sorts of mixed relationships require hella lot more work and so rarely end well.
Do yourself a favor, drop this fella off your list of friends for a while, go find your own kind - find a real gay guy who knows he is gay, is out of the closet as much as your community allows and pursue a healthier potential relationship where you both are on the same page.
The evil part of me wants to tell you to get some real hurtful experience and go for it, let him hurt you -
Why? Because this experience will leave a far lasting memory of hurt and pain and teach you to never mess with a "straight man".
The good side of me wants to warn you and tell you this isn't going to end well, in order to protect you from the inevitable pain, potential months even years of misery that playing this 'game' with him will give.
Frankly, back in my youth we didn't have the internet to turn to for people to tell us what to do or not to do, we did trial and error, the downside to that is that a lot of guys of my generation are bitter, jaded old queens (we all choose the lessons we take from any experience). The up side is we got hard won experiences which lead to a generation which just didn't mess around with "straight" guys and we kept the lines clear between the sexualities.
Personally I don't do straight or bi guys. Period. But then I have been the one to listen to the misery, whining, complaining, sniveling of gay guys who pursued the unattainable.
Of course this is still all your choice, but from my years - nay decades- of experience and listening to way to many gay guys falling for "straight" or "confused" fellas, chances are very high that this is not going to end well, and will pretty much end up wrecking you for other, better potential gay men who are around but you can't see because you are focused on this one dude who doesn't or isn't able to give you a full, real relationship.
I could go on for many pages about 'mixed' relationships, between HIV+ and HIV-, and "Straight" and "Gay" and closet and out of the closet and lots of others - these sorts of mixed relationships require hella lot more work and so rarely end well.
Do yourself a favor, drop this fella off your list of friends for a while, go find your own kind - find a real gay guy who knows he is gay, is out of the closet as much as your community allows and pursue a healthier potential relationship where you both are on the same page.
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