I think my family hates me...

[ceez]

I'll be waiting [MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION], we can get a house on the beach and drink mojitos in the nude

[JohnSomebody]

I'm sorry as well to hear about your troubles with your family ...and I can totally relate because I went through similar situations as yourself with my family when they found out that I was gay as well. As I had mentioned in an earlier post...the older guy that I was with who was very possessive and used to call my mom's house constantly throughout whenever I would visit them....well his behavior made my mom very suspicious as to what was the status of our relationship. I remember the day she questioned me about this and her and I were the only people in the house at that time. When I confessed the truth to her...she had informed me that she would not tell any of my siblings and that she would leave that up to me when I was ready to do so. Unfortunately...she told everyone as soon as I left her house. From the point on...I was not welcomed to family gatherings such as Christmas, Thanksgiving and other holidays. No family member kept any kind of contact with me for years. Initially, this caused me a lot of pain...and honestly..at the beginning..I made many attempts to buy my mom and my family's love because I had a good paying job and money was no problem. Although I was doing this...I was still not welcomed to attend any holiday dinners or other family gatherings. This is when I finally came to the conclusion to stop trying to buy their love and to move on by myself and focus on moving up the corporate ladder and my friends' families had adopted me into their families. Years have gone by and I am a much stronger individual and I handle family situations a lot different than I did during those years. I now live for me and not those who have difficulty accepting my sexuality. One sibling has come around and although I can sense she still have some issues...and yet I do have a relationship with her because I am aware that she is trying and she does want me in her life despite whatever hangups she may still have even though she tells me she doesn't. So...my advice to you is live for you and love for you and not others and keep moving forward for your benefit ....in the end ...you will began to see that you can succeed and progress without them. Stay Blessed...JS

[Jay]

I'll be waiting [MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION], we can get a house on the beach and drink mojitos in the nude

Nearby to a basketball court too cause if I'm not mistaken you play basketball.

Regarding to the discussion, my parents found out via my big brother. They raided my bedroom and found my bodybuilding magazines, dvds and comics. I used to draw a lot of comics; your typical superheroes and also porn oriented.

I wasn't around when they unlocked my bedroom. I was still in school (Religious school). My big brother and sister were in boarding schools. My baby brother was with me in school.

I went home. House door was wide open. My mom was crying at a corner in our living room. I stumbled into my dad who had a fierce look. But he didn't utter a word.

Long story short, I was shocked to find my bedroom was raided by my parents. My bodybuilding magazines, dvds and porn comics that I drew were scattered on the floor. I thought that was the end of my life.

I went downstairs and dropped down to my knees in front of my mom. Cried. I apologized. My mom asked me to repent. I was around 12 or 13 years old at the time.

I obliged.

My dad refused to talk to me for weeks or was it months. My baby brother who was still very young had no idea what was going on. He loves me very much.

So I repented. Tried to become straight for several years. My mom made sure to keep me away from anything that she thinks can affect my sexuality such as gardening, fashion etc.

I kept a machete, which belongs to my dad under my bed for several months; I thought y'know just in case if I ever need it to commit suicide.

By 19, I realized that I cannot lie to myself. I'm not interested in women.

Another incident occurred at the time. My big brother traced my internet cookies and informed my mom. My mom asked me about it. My baby brother was already old enough to understand what my mom was pointing out.

From that day on, my baby brother hates my guts. He has this anger in his eyes. He thinks I'm disgusting. For years, he refused to be in the same room as me. Let alone sit at the same sofa. We haven't spoken to each other ever since. I think it really affects my baby brother too. He becomes emo, only wear black clothes, decorated his bedroom in black ... he scribbled his car sun shades with "Don't Trust Your Girlfriend" and other negative stuff. It changes his future path. My baby brother already left the emo life and has become normal again. But he still hates my guts. Well you can't win everything.

My baby brother. I took care of him when my siblings were away in boarding school and when my mom was ill for years.





This was history.

Yes, it did hurt for years.

[ceez]

Nearby to a basketball court too cause if I'm not mistaken you play basketball.

lol, yes I love to play whenever I can

I would like to add that I have a tremendous amount of respect for you guys that came out to your families and made it through those tough times. I still haven't come out to my family and they are very religious so I'm expecting the same type of reactions.