Came out to mom, non expected reaction

[Alex98]

So i recently came out to my mother the other day because I kind of figured she had some sort of clue that I was gay however .....she actually had no idea and i told her for no reason. Sooooooo my mom didn't really say much. She didn't look happy or sad or really like anything? I thought maybe for a sec there was going to be some cliche moment where she would say "I love you no matter what" or "I wish you would have told me sooner!" but i could literally hear crickets in my living room and it was the most awkward moment of my life. I asked her if she was mad and she said "no, it isn't your fault" like is this implying she thinks its wrong however its not something i could have had control over? It's been 3 days and she hasn't said anything about it or asked questions. I think shes trying to ignore it to be honest. So should anything further be done do you think? Should i just worry about myself and keep living life or should i maybe try to talk to her more about it?Not really good at this kind of thing.

[Camfer]

Congrats on coming out! You've done your part. What's next for you is to continue to live your life openly. Your mom's in a adjustment phase and she will talk about it when she's ready. Just talk about what is going on in your life. It's that easy. Her reaction is her deal, not yours.

[MikeW]

Should i just worry about myself and keep living life or should i maybe try to talk to her more about it?Not really good at this kind of thing.

Hey, you're doing just fine! It's a big deal for you to get up the courage to tell your mom, especially at such a young age.

Now she is going through her own adjustment phase about it. Just think how long you've suspected and then known, how long you've had to adjust yourself to this truth about yourself. (Months? Years?) I don't know anything about your mom... so I can't really say what all might be going on inside her. But at least she didn't go ballistic and scream at you and throw you out of the house (that happens!). She listened, she heard, she doesn't blame you -- but she probably doesn't have a whole lot to go on about this. What does she know about "gay people" except what she's seen on TV? Does she know any gay people in her real life? You haven't said so I'll guess probably not (that she knows of, anyway).

So, I wouldn't make too big a deal out of this. As [MENTION=20941]Camfer[/MENTION] said, just keep living your life and talking to her the way you would about stuff whether you're gay or not.

If you *want* to be proactive you might google PFLAG and your area. Maybe see if there is a PFLAG group near you that you can attend... or maybe there is some contact number to get some printed material to give to her. For sure there are lots of books.

Please keep hanging out here with us. You don't have to feel like you're completely alone facing these problems. We'll help with advice when we can.

[East]

Sometimes people "deal with" things they don't want to hear by trying to pretend they didn't hear it. It is the way they cope with things...until they can process it...if ever...

What might help...forget she is your mother for awhile and try to see her as a person with flaws...we all have flaws...and she may be one of those people who needs to take time.

BTW...Congrats!

[Cridders88]

Your mum just needs time to adjust. From what you've written, it seems that she is a little overwhelmed by it, my Dad was similar, didn't say a lot about it or even talk about it initially, but he eventually came round and I'm sure your mum will do the same in time. At least she hasn't reacted angrily which is a good sign.

Congrats on coming out .

[Watermark]

Give her some time and continue living your life.

[Rareboy]

Well done!!

It sounds like she'll catch up.

[Alex98]

Thanks you guys really appreciate all the feedback. She still has not mentioned it or hasn't even really acknowledged that night but i guess she'll come around eventually

[Camfer]

That's great! So now, how's your love life?

[MikeW]

Thanks you guys really appreciate all the feedback. She still has not mentioned it or hasn't even really acknowledged that night but i guess she'll come around eventually

Well, let me ask you this, what would you like her to say? Are there things you're feeling that you'd like to talk with her about? If so, do you feel comfortable saying what they are?

I don't know but I think most teenagers don't talk about sex much with their parents, irregardless of their sexuality. Sex is a kind of taboo subject in general much beyond "use protection, don't get an STD" (or get pregnant).

So, who else have you come out to? Any of your friends? How are things going for you in school?