The first week - what should happen? What shouldn't happen? What would you do?

[ChrisH]

Okay this varies for most people.

However, given a moment...

You meet a guy on a hookup/dating app/site. You exchange messages on there for an entire day. Then he offers you his number so you two can text. You both agree to a date later that week, dinner and a movie. He even offers to pick you up, rather than meet in public.

What should and should not happen here?
And what would you do?

[Lexington]

Why is "rather than meet in public" italicized? Are you suspicious of his actions? Do you think he's trying to hide his sexuality? Do you think he's creeping around behind another guy or a wife?

...or are you actually just asking what should happen on the date? Because the answer there is "whatever you want". I've had dinner dates that involved going to a fun restaurant. And I've had "dinner dates" where we met at a hotel room, had sex, ordered a pizza, ate pizza, then continued having sex. Both of those dates were "correct", because both of those dates involved doing what we wanted to do.

Lex

[MikeW]

You both agree to a date later that week, dinner and a movie. He even offers to pick you up, rather than meet in public.

What should and should not happen here?
And what would you do?

Yeah, as [MENTION=21778]Lexington[/MENTION] says, we're not clear on what you're asking here. I'm sure this is all very clear in your own head, but it isn't to us at all.

Are you concerned about his offer to pick you up rather than meet you in public? Yeah, as a general rule, I'd never give someone I met online my address without having met them somewhere 'neutral' first.

What do you mean by "should" or "should not".... according to whom? Us? Why do you want us to imagine being in your situation and imagine what we would or wouldn't do? What is your real question?

To me there are no "shoulds" exactly. I should take care of myself. I should respect my own boundaries and limits and respect those of others. I should have a good time. I/we should do whatever we want to do, whatever feels right, good and comfortable for us in the moment. Why should I imagine details in advance? Reality is never what we imagine it is going to be, anyway.

[Pyromancer]

Are you asking about sex? If so, there are no "shoulds" that I know about. Do what both of you are comfortable with. I've had sex on the first date...I've also just shared a hug and a goodnight kiss. In each instance, we both felt comfortable with what happened...and I ended up seeing both of them again. See what kind of chemistry you two have and how the evening goes...

[Borg69]

He even offers to pick you up, rather than meet in public.

What should and should not happen here?
And what would you do?

It basically boils down to, do you trust him to know where you live right off the bat?

MY gut instinct, fueled with some experience, says DON'T do it.

... but then, I'm paranoid... and I've had psycho's showing up and calling at all hours, annoying my neighbors and embarrassing the hell out of me as they professed their undying love.

[ChrisH]

In the past, when it came to first dates, we'd often meet in a public meeting spot. Like the mall, or a restaurant. Or a movie theater.

This is the first time a guy who has asked me out on a date, has offered to pick me up on the first date.

I'm only asking if this is even a good idea. I trust the guy, he's my age, doesn't seem unstable, and he has many good qualities. No, he's not hiding behind anything, at least not that I can tell.

As for sex - I'll lose my virginity someday, but not on any first date.

[MikeW]

In the past, when it came to first dates, we'd often meet in a public meeting spot. Like the mall, or a restaurant. Or a movie theater.

This is the first time a guy who has asked me out on a date, has offered to pick me up on the first date.

I'm only asking if this is even a good idea. I trust the guy, he's my age, doesn't seem unstable, and he has many good qualities. No, he's not hiding behind anything, at least not that I can tell.

As for sex - I'll lose my virginity someday, but not on any first date.

If you feel safe with the guy -- safe enough to give him your home address -- then I see no problem with it.

[Rareboy]

I'd meet up and go to a movie and grab a bite and then fuck like monkeys.

[ChrisH]

For those who have replied:

First date was great.
And he has asked me out on a second one.

On this upcoming Sunday.

Too soon?

Just curious. I'm fine with it, but I don't want to rush things.

[MikeW]

For those who have replied:

First date was great.
And he has asked me out on a second one.

On this upcoming Sunday.

Too soon?

Just curious. I'm fine with it, but I don't want to rush things.

Glad the date went well! Sunday seems soon but then why the hell not? It's not like there are any rules. Every situation is different. If you both want to spend time together then what's wrong with that? Are you concerned you'll get bored with one another? Just don't over think things so much. Nothing in life is guaranteed, so we have to make the best we can out of whatever we have in any given moment. Get together as often and as frequently as you like and if it begins to feel overwhelming or 'too much too fast' just scale it back a bit and rediscover the balance that works.

Thanks for keeping us updated!