Ex is threatening my and my lover, we're scared

[Davis]

First of all I agree with everyone else here.Let police know and get restraining orders But the amazing thing about this is that I wrote and starred in a video a few years ago about this very same thing.I'm an actor and I play this guy who's ex threatens my new boyfriend.He even goes so far as to choke him to death with a ligature. So when I find out what he's done I go over to his apartment and strangle him with my bare hands.When I read your post it just reminded me of that short film I did. At any rate be careful and stay safe.

Is it possible to see that movie somewhere?

[TwisttheLeaf]

[MENTION=22576]yousir[/MENTION] [MENTION=20941]Camfer[/MENTION] [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION]

You need to save EVERY message. Every email. Every text. Every voicemail. Everything. SAVE IT ALL. It's very possible you'll need it.

Get a restraining order. NOW.

He may not have been violent with you, but now that you're not his, whose to s ay he won't be. Or that he won't target his frustration and violence on your partner.

[JohnSomebody]

I went through the same situation with my first BF...he was very possessive and jealous and I was not allowed to have friends or even better...if I paid my family members a visit...he would call constantly throughout my visit to make sure that I was there at all times. Anyway...once I decided to end it all...a year later...I met someone and we became serious about each other. My ex had friends that would see me and the new guy out and they would go back and tell him. This fool started sitting out in front of my home in the wee hours of the early morning hours...and whenever my new guy would come by to pick me up for a date...the fool would sit out on the side street and then precede to follow us...for awhile..my new guy got a kick out of it because they both of them started out speeding each other which usually the ex would lose....it was like a scene out of James Bond movie....anyway...he would even call my job non-stop and threaten to come down to the office building and cause a scene in front of everybody. He threaten to get me in the car and drive off into the lake which was just minutes away because he felt that if he couldn't have me..then no one would. I went to the Police and filed a report and got a restraining order against him. He did not give me a hard time after this due to the fact also that he is very well known in the state especially in religious circles and he also a contributing writer for one of the local newspapers...with that...he did not want to ruin that reputation. So, as the other guys have suggested to you....go to the police!!!!

[Bricg1970]

I had the same experience, I recommend you avoid all possibility of contact, places, even if you want to go, check always before going to places where you can meet accidentally, people you know he has contact with, if you meeting him by accident or so avoid give him any piece of information, keep it short and sweet, avoid engage in any kind of argument, he will entice you to hook you, be smart . After few month I stopped receiving emails, texts or being harass, avoid any confrontation that's what he is looking after.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Actually calling the cops and getting a restraining order at this time is not the right way to go about this.

The thing is your ex has behavioral issues which I am very familar with in my past relationships - all of the abusive relationships. When the cops and restraining orders start being thrown around, a lot of these abusive types ignore these things and the heat gets turned up high on his end of things. Trust me, the cops can't protect you 24/7 and a restraining order is just a piece of paper with little real protection for you or your current BF.

#2 stalked me and made my life a living hell for 6 months. It finally took me resorting to tit for tat with an extra heap of spite to end his stalking. Legal routes (cops and restraining orders) were in those days (and pretty much still are) jokes. The only time a cop can break up a domestic disturbance is if there is real harm done or real threat poised. Two people screaming at each other is not a 'real' threat. This is why so many individuals who go to the cops seeking help, don't get help and then end up a statistic of domestic violence.

If there is a woman's shelter in your area, go ahead and go there and speak to the front desk person and ask them how many times has cops and restraining orders actually kept a husband, boyfriend, or ex from going totally bat-shit crazy. Or you can google that too
: https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=dom...statistics

The way to go about this is to get a lawyer - A Domestic Violence Lawyer. Many do free consultations and can you pointed in the right direction on how to deal with this legally and how to go about protecting yourselves when the cops and R.O. fail.

There are many resources specifically for LGBT: https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=+LG...+Resources I don't know where you are, so I can't narrow that search down for you.

I don't know your ex - I don't know his hobbies - if he did martial arts or other self defense classes you may be in a lot more danger than you think. Does he hunt? More danger - You know - guns mixed with hostile intentions rarely ends well.

You know more about him and the potentials here. So before you go calling the cops, get legal and experienced advice - they can ask you direct questions to get a better feel for the potentials with the ex.

If you know he has hit, punched or beat up anyone, or pulled a knife or gun or something along these lines, the best thing you and your new BF can do is enroll in self defense classes and get some real education as quickly as possible on how to break free and buy time to get as far from an attacker as possible.

If you know your ex plays with guns or something of that magnitude, you need to know your state laws about firearms and using one for self defense. Some places you can shoot a man if attacks you and you walk, other places you end up in the state prison for a very long time. Thus a lawyer type can help.

[Cridders88]

You say that you don't believe he is capable of the things he says he is going to do to you and your boyfriend, but you cannot take that chance. The guy has lost it! The line "if I can't have you, nobody can" is particularly concerning. Contact the police ASAP. If you have kept all the emails and messages from him, you have plenty of evidence of this guys' threatening behaviour. The threats could well turn out to be empty, but it's not worth the risk!

[Anonymous]

Well no, as far as I know he doesn't hunt and hasn't psychically hurt anyone but then also I haven't dug into his past a lot, maybe there's something he hasn't been telling me. I know that when he was in his teens, he was receiving some kind of treatment for behavior problems however I'm not sure does that mean anything. I mean, I spent 2 years with him, I would have noticed if he's mental.