Would try to warn him...?

[ceez]

Andy needs a billboard up with his picture and the words rapist pedophile under his picture. This is one of the special cases where you had to warn Dan, even if he doesn't believe you at first he might start to see the signs later. Hopefully he can convince the three brothers to press charges.

[East]

I thought about the situation while I was shopping today and had decided to follow everyone's advice, and pass the information along through a third party. I can have the middle "son"'s wife email him).
Unfortunately, no, this never got any media attention, because no one was willing to press charges! This is a REALLY tiny town where my parents live, and the 2 older siblings identify as hetrosexual, are married, and have children themselves. They didn't want the attention that would have inevitably resulted from friends, co-workers, ect. In fact, they were not at all happy when I told the Pastor what I knew about their "Dad". I couldn't help myself though, knowing what I knew and him being a Youth Pastor.

I appreciate all of the great I put from everyone!
Xoxo
~Beaux

UGH...what a horrible situation.

I read this yesterday and was out of town with my iPhone so I couldn't really respond....but I think you should not say anything....and let me tell you why.....

If your ex finds out and confronts him...the guy has deception on his side...and will probably concoct a story and even make your ex feel sorry for him. I watched my mom do this all the time....and it worked. Most people are gullible and they want to believe lies if the actual truth is nasty.

As the messenger...even through a third party...prepare to be shot. I know that you feel like you have to warn him...and I understand why...and so for that reason ...your own peace of mind...I can understand...but just be prepared for the bullet....

A few questions that might change things...is you ex "quick"? Does he get things quickly...have insight? ...would he trust you if you said this to him? ...would he understand your intentions?...does he use his intuition or gut when he is dealing with someone?....

One more question for you...do you think if your ex found out and confronted him that he would be hurt in any way by this guy?

[ShiftyNJ]

How did they explain it to the congregation without this becoming common knowledge in your town? Given how protective people are of their children and how this is unfortunately "a thing" with clergy who work with children, I'm surprised it didn't get leaked.

I can understand the brothers not wanting further upset given what they'd already been through, but I'm kind of surprised the kind of anger they must have felt didn't manifest itself in a desire to protect others from the same fate. I've never been in that situation so I really can't pass judgment, I just am pretty sure that's how I would feel.

[Beaux]

How did they explain it to the congregation without this becoming common knowledge in your town? Given how protective people are of their children and how this is unfortunately "a thing" with clergy who work with children, I'm surprised it didn't get leaked.

I don't know if "leaked" is the right word, but it did get out. Andy was taken off of the church's roles and lost his job at Sears. He ended up moving to th nearest large city-- Shreveport (which is where he met Dan, I assume, because that is where Dan is loving now).
~Beaux

[Beaux]

UGH...what a horrible situation.

I read this yesterday and was out of town with my iPhone so I couldn't really respond....but I think you should not say anything....and let me tell you why.....

If your ex finds out and confronts him...the guy has deception on his side...and will probably concoct a story and even make your ex feel sorry for him. I watched my mom do this all the time....and it worked. Most people are gullible and they want to believe lies if the actual truth is nasty.

As the messenger...even through a third party...prepare to be shot. I know that you feel like you have to warn him...and I understand why...and so for that reason ...your own peace of mind...I can understand...but just be prepared for the bullet....

A few questions that might change things...is you ex "quick"? Does he get things quickly...have insight? ...would he trust you if you said this to him? ...would he understand your intentions?...does he use his intuition or gut when he is dealing with someone?....

One more question for you...do you think if your ex found out and confronted him that he would be hurt in any way by this guy?

Well, it is a little too late for me to stay out of it, as I have already set the wheels in motion....lol

Dan is a VERY intelligent young man, one of the brightest people I have ever know, in fact. Would Andy hurt him? I doubt that he would physically assult him. Andy is far from physically imposing. He is a 60+ man of about 5'8" and (I would guess) about 240 lbs. I am much more worried about him drugging Dan than attacking of him attacking him. Dan is almost as tall as me and around 190 lbs, so I feel pretty certain he could take Andy down in a fight. However, Dan is a very trusting person, and knowing Andy I feel that he has an end-game planned. It would virtually impossible for him NOT to know that Dan and I were lovers, and he knows full well that I am the person who told the Pastor about his proclivities (wich lead to his losing his job, reputation, and eventually having to relocate. I find it very hard to imagine that Dan would ever be attracted to Andy, but I could easily see him being fooled by Andy presenting himself as someone needing a "friend"....
~Beaux