I don't buy your friend's excuse for not wanting sex. Is he not frustrated, like you, by the foreplay and nudity? So you guys make out and get hard, then go the bathroom and jack off by yourselves?
I understand not having sex with friends. Most of us have those boundaries. But you guys are being sexual with each other...you just aren't cumming together. Silly boys.
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I have to agree with Darius. I know everyone's different, but if you passionately kiss, get naked and engage in foreplay quite often, I don't personally see how your relationship can be labeled as just friends. Friends don't normally go to many (if any) of those lengths due to it being....... well, it's not something friends typically tend to do together.
I'm sure there's a lot more to the story and your relationship with him than what we know, but I would've personally thought that the whole "ruining our friendship" thing would've happened long ago before any of this. It's probably not my place to say, but your friend just kinda sounds like he's afraid of commitment?
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The two things that come immediately to mind are that ou should tell your friend that it has become too frustrating for you to live with him and not have sex; that if he wishes to continue to live with you he should expect to cultivate a healthy sex life together.
The other thing is that it is not reasonable for you to hem yourself in with this relationship and that you should consider moving to a place where the social climate allows you to be yourself comfortably. I say this because when I was your age the possibility was not realistic. These days it is and if I had life to live over the choice would be very clear to me.
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06-17-2015, 08:12 PM
(Edited 06-17-2015, 08:21 PM by meridannight.)
samzv Wrote:and intending to come back here start all over with a purely romantic non sexual relationship, I dont see myself as the bad guy here. I have fulfilled my promise, and he blew it up one by one.
Besides, the first time he started touching me when he first arrived in my country, I refused him politely to avoid any future trouble but he insisted, so we ended with neverending foreplays which I find to b ridiculous.
i think you're in the right to write him off. he doesn't want just friendship either. he wants more, obviously. but he wants some comfortable place where he can satisfy some of
his needs, never minding yours. and he's deluding himself if he thinks a non-sexual relationship will ever work out.
you're right, it is ridiculous. he's already crossed beyond the lines of friendship with what he's done, he has steered it in an explicitly sexual direction, whether he'll ever admit it to himself or not. he did all that, and then at the same time he disowns the possibility of sex. i don't really know if he seriously believes in the prospect of that working out, but that's utter bullshit.
you can't keep on waiting on someone who might never figure himself out. let him go, cut it off. being with someone like that is useless self-torture. don't put yourself through that.
there are plenty of other guys out there who do know they want to be with other men and are comfortable with it. and you're only 25. you will have plenty of time and opportunities to meet someone. if you don't like guys of Malaysian origin then find a different country where you could realistically move to and make a life. it's not impossible.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
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What do I do?
