I am having some issues with my ex. I was with this girl for 4 years or so. We had a really horrible break up about two years ago. I resolved to not contact her again but whenever I stopped any contact with her, she tries to reach out to me. She will either text me, email me or if she sees me on the IM, she will talk to me there. She claims that she has no feelings for me. She says she sees me as family now. My family are her family are very close so every once in a while, we see each other at parties or a funeral. She went from being in love with me to now claiming that she has no feelings for me whatsoever. Before we got together, her family and mine were always together, hanging out. She says she wants for us to go back to that relationship. But I don't want that anymore. I can's see her as family or friend after being involved with her sexually. I tell her that and she threatens to stop talking to me but after months or even weeks pass by, she is contacting me once again. She doesn't like talking about us and what he had. She says that she is in love with the girl she broke up with me over. This girl now lives with her and she claims that she's the one. But if that's the case, why is she wanting to talk to me, even if I tell her that I can't go back to being family or friends with her anymore? Later on she tells me that this girl she is with is not her girlfriend. I don't really understand what she wants from me or what she's doing. I've tried so many times asking her what she really wants from me but she gets extremely defensive and she cuts me off. Last week, we were at family grad party. She was there. I hadn't seen her since we broke up and she was just staring at me. She wouldn't take her eyes off of me. I don't know how to read that but she did come up to me a few times for small talk, she won't talk to me about her intentions with me. I need help trying to determine whether you guys on here think she's telling me the truth or does she have lingering feelings for me? Is she really happy with that other girl or is she still pining for me? Does she really want for us to act like we're family? I'm confused and not sure how to proceed with her. The break up was horrible, like I said but I am a lot stronger and I can handle not being with her but either way, I would like an unbiased opinion as to what she really wants with me? Thanks for any advice. Its quite frustrating!
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She doesn't know. Well she does, but can't face it.
What she wants is the best of both worlds. She can't have that, she knows it someplace inside.
You just need to keep telling her 'no' and if she pushes tell her, she made this choice for a new life - she needs to go live that new life.
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Perhaps you should consider deleting all of your contact information and replace it all with new ones. That way.. better yet...Is there not a way that you can keep your contact information but you are able to block her from having access to where she will not be able to contact you at all????...just a suggestion..
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She wants her current girlfriend, and she wants you to be her bestest bud like you used to be. And no matter how many times you tell her otherwise, she thinks that's still obtainable.
So I'd simply stop responding. At all. Block her number and e-mail. Any message that makes its way to you can be left unread. (Don't give into temptation to read them - just get rid of them.) If you meet at a function, be cordial but don't get into a conversation. Make your excuses and leave.
Lex
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Yeah, I'm fed up with her antics! I have blocked her in every way possible but after I see that she doesn't try and contact me, then I unblock her phone number. The main reason for that is because as I said, our families are very close and even when I don't see her, her mom or her dad or her brother, and her cousins are always hanging out and they don't know we had a sexual relationship. They think we were just best friends. My ex is manipulative! One time one of the family members had mentioned that they wanted for us to all go out, my ex included. She tells me that she needs to check with he girlfriend to see if its ok. She throws little digs at me like that, even though I have asked her several times not to bring her up! She doesn't listen and she tells me that she's just messing with me. That makes me very angry! But she keeps doing it!
I do not understand why she insists on keeping me in her life if she isn't going to respect me or care how I feel! I have explained to her repeatedly exactly how I feel but she doesn't care! I just told her right now that I am done with her BS!
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My opinion,.she is using you as a pawn to manipulate her current GF....
Seen it many time before....
Wash your hands....close the door...open a new one...and make sure to keep this door closed....
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Just tell everybody you two had a "falling out". That's all you really need to do.
Lex
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Well, actually I have already told them that. But all they say is that we should make up because at the end of the day, we are all family. I grew up with this girl. I've known her over 30 years! I've been in love with this girl for a very long time. I loved her even before she fell for me! When she broke up with me, it was devastating! And prior to the break up, she was cheating on me. I went thru hell! I would love nothing more than to forget her but whenever I try, she keeps reappearing in my life and I don't understand why! I'm angry at myself for not being stronger but its hard! Sometimes, I feel like she's trying to hold on to me because nobody has ever stuck by her as much as I have. Maybe she just wants an insurance policy and that's why she tries to keep me around.
I thought about maybe allowing for the friendship part but eventually becoming friends with benefits but now, I don't even want that! Sex with her was awesome and maybe that's what I tend to focus on. Other than that, I really don't know what attracts me to her. All she's ever done is treat me like dirt!
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Capricorn
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