Sagittarius
06-25-2015, 06:20 AM
Paddy , the Irish wrestler was set to square off for the Olympic gold medal against Ivan , the Russian champion . Before the final match , the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said " Now , don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian . He's never lost a match because of this ' pretzel ' hold he has . It ties you up in knots . Whatever you do , do not let him get you in that hold ! If he does , you're finished ... "
The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment . As the match started , the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times , looking for an opening . All of a sudden , the Russian lunged forward , grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold . A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands , for he knew all was lost . He couldn't watch the inevitable happen .
Suddenly , there was a long , high pitched scream , then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air . His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on top of him , pinning him down and winning the match. The trainer was astounded . When he finally got his wrestler alone , he asked , " How did you ever get out of that hold ? No one has ever done that before ! "
The Irishman answered , " Well , I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold , but at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face . I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength , I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could ... " The trainer exclaimed , " That's what finished him off? " " Not really " , answered Paddy , " but you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls! "
The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment . As the match started , the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times , looking for an opening . All of a sudden , the Russian lunged forward , grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold . A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands , for he knew all was lost . He couldn't watch the inevitable happen .
Suddenly , there was a long , high pitched scream , then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air . His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on top of him , pinning him down and winning the match. The trainer was astounded . When he finally got his wrestler alone , he asked , " How did you ever get out of that hold ? No one has ever done that before ! "
The Irishman answered , " Well , I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold , but at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face . I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength , I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could ... " The trainer exclaimed , " That's what finished him off? " " Not really " , answered Paddy , " but you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls! "
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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