tops vs. bottoms

[novice]

Well, you've gotten some good responses. What I'd like to know is where this question is coming from IN YOU. You may think you've asked it objectively but it's fairly apparent that isn't quite accurate. In fact, unbeknownst to you, it speaks VOUMES about how you categorize and attempt to simplify complex sexual/social relations. Apparently there is something behind this question, some personal experience and feelings that you're trying to understand or reconcile. So... what is it that motivated this question?

These are some good responses! I am trying to understand my own experiences (or lack thereof) & somewhat a past relationship BUT my particular case I think is far from typical so I was just trying to get an idea of what others experience in this regard.

I'm not reducing things to only sexual "roles" but it does seem to be an important issue to people I've met. I've even seen online profiles where ppl have asked: "where are all the tops?", etc., etc.. I can only find bottoms or bttm/vers & have only met 2 or 3 total tops (or even "mostly top" guys) in my 7-8 years of dating men. Also, I ONLY get messages online from bottoms even though I list myself as bottom (?!). Sex isn't everything in a relationship but I think long term if someone's not getting what one truly wants/likes they are going to end up looking elsewhere for it. It justs seems to be "a seller's market" for tops near as I can tell.

I only threw the size question in there because the few tops I've known (or of) don't seem to be inclined to being in relationships & don't seem to think much about finding partners (for w/e it is they might want them for) but guys tending toward bttm seem to be a lot less "confident" (& successful!!) about finding partners.

I personally don't have a problem being versatile BUT I am lacking in size (sadly! lol) so I doubt that would work out well for very long. So, over time I've ended up being more bttm & almost preferring it that way (except for the rarity of tops "available"). "Available" is key because a top rarely (if ever) has to go w/o sex, dates or relationships when there is an overabundance of bttm's - whereas for a bttm to find the relatively few tops is another story.

[artyboy]

There are gay and bi guys that dont do Anal sex.

Im not one of them but thought it was worth saying.

[Beaux]

I personally don't have a problem being versatile BUT I am lacking in size (sadly! lol) so I doubt that would work out well for very long. So, over time I've ended up being more bttm & almost preferring it that way (except for the rarity of tops "available"). "Available" is key because a top rarely (if ever) has to go w/o sex, dates or relationships when there is an overabundance of bttm's - whereas for a bttm to find the relatively few tops is another story.[/QUOTE]

Wow! Are you EVER coming at this from the wrong direction!!! One of the VERY best lovers I ever had, and one of the few men I was truly versatile with, also happened to have one of the smallest penises I have EVER seen! What he lacked in size, he more than made up for in stamina, passion, creativity and all-round sexiness!!!

~Beaux

[Virge]

^^^^^^
There's another testimonial that dick size is irrelevant to most guys. I've met a few guys who thought the world belonged to them because they thought they had a big dick... no personality... and every conversation always led back to them talking about their dick...

and come to think about it after [MENTION=13210]Beaux[/MENTION] brought the subject up out of all the fun guys I've messed around with in my limited experience.... all of them were average or smaller.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I'm positive that Gideon does not see me as expendable. And until he started occasionally bottoming for me a couple years ago, he was entirely top and is not lacking in size.

But.... you're not asking about Gideon, you're asking about -most- guys, yeah?

*Shrugging*

I seriously doubt it. Although, I -have- in my past come to the conclusion that many (I can't say the majority but enough of them in my experience to say more than half?) men with smaller dicks take more time to learn how to be better in bed. Whereas that same ratio applies with big dicked men who seem to think they can ride on the fact they have a big dick and -not- take the effort to learn the finer skills and finesse of being (and giving) a good lay.

[novice]

I personally don't have a problem being versatile BUT I am lacking in size (sadly! lol) so I doubt that would work out well for very long. So, over time I've ended up being more bttm & almost preferring it that way (except for the rarity of tops "available"). "Available" is key because a top rarely (if ever) has to go w/o sex, dates or relationships when there is an overabundance of bttm's - whereas for a bttm to find the relatively few tops is another story.

Wow! Are you EVER coming at this from the wrong direction!!! One of the VERY best lovers I ever had, and one of the few men I was truly versatile with, also happened to have one of the smallest penises I have EVER seen! What he lacked in size, he more than made up for in stamina, passion, creativity and all-round sexiness!!!

~Beaux

My first experiences w/ men involving anal I was top because I couldn't imagine wanting (or being able) to bottom & having sex w/ women for 25 yr's obviously I'd been doing the fucking & I am good at sex afaik. It was only AFTER being w/ enough bottoms did I become aware my "size" was that much of an issue (I am only slightly less than average so it "shouldn't" BE a problem).

So, almost reluctantly I tried bottoming & came to enjoy it so that's where I've remained. I've not been in a "versatile" sitch so idk how that would work out. But as I said bottoms DO seem to be a dime a dozen & tops very rare in my experience.

So, if you are a well hung top you will have a much "easier" dating/sex life than if you are mainly bottom (regardless of size). I am a nice guy but that counts for nothing. My ex is a bit of an asshole but being a well hung top he had PLENTY of partners prior to & after me (& during for all I know) who has no dating issues whatsoever.