So 4 years back I met this guy from Belgium on a random video chatting website and we got to talking, allot, we would Skype every night for a whole summer. Eventually we starting kinda dating but in an unofficial way because he wasn't sure about his sexuality. It got to the point where we told each other we loved each other, and a little bit after that he told me that he wasn't gay and that he liked a girl. We still stayed being friends but that was it. Then come to find out he started dating a guy and it kinda hurt me at first but by then we were good enough friends that I let it go. So now skip forward 2 years and after a few failed relationships for us both, we are still great friends, very close friends in a non sexual way. Today I told him that I was seeing a guy but not anymore and he jumped on the questions like, who is he? did you guys have sex? Why didn't you tell me? Well cause it only lasted a few days, and yeah we did and he got sad and disappointed with me like I did something wrong and he told me he was jealous. So I asked him, why are you jealous? he quickly evaded the question and starting talking about something else. So after a few minutes I asked him again, Why are you jealous? So he tells me this(exact message):
[4:35:48 PM] : to answer why i am jealous
i don't know why, but somewhere inside it hurts to see you with somebody
[4:36:13 PM] : cause i'm scared he would hurt you and i don't want you to be hurt
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Not to say that what I'm about to share with you is similar to your situation...however there are a lot of familiarities. When I got back into the dating world...I met this guy and his approach was totally different from all of the other guys that had approached me prior to him. He was so cool and smooth and I really enjoyed talking with him until the wee hours of the morning. He finally revealed to me that he was in a relationship with another guy...but he was not happy and was ready to move on. I suggested that we should just focus on establishing a friendship. However, within time...feelings started to develop a lot on his part and he began to open up and share with me a lot of details in regard to his "broken" relationship. Nonetheless...what I began to notice is that on social media...he posted a lot of pics of him and his boyfriend together hanging out or taking trips/vacations together.
For me to see this just made me put myself more so at a distance in regard to anything more than friendship because if he was not happy with this guy then why are they together all the time...smiling and looking like a couple in love??? Not only that..they even shared a bed together every night which he insisted that nothing sexually was going on. However, I started making myself more available to date other guys which made him very jealous and he even had the nerve to get very upset at me for doing so and began to question me if I was having sex with these guys, etc. which was none of his business as far as I was concerned. The more I made myself unavailable..the more he tried to contact me constantly displaying an attitude which really astounded me due to the fact that I was a single man...not tied to no one. After having a couple of intense conversations ...I decided it was best for me to cut all ties completely with this guy which I came to realize that it was a good decision for me considering that not too long after my decision...they were still together and vacationing in exotic locations. So to conclude...does any of this story rings true to your situation??? and if so...heed the warning and get familiar with the lesson entailed within this post.
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Jman55 let me guess, his FaceBook relationship status reads "It's Complicated".
His response to you seems benign and genuine,especially if you're close friends. From the way you write it seems like you would still be interested in a deeper relationship than just friends. If you're questioning if he feels something deeper for you stick your neck out and tell him how you honestly feel. Then ask him point blank if he's still harboring deeper feelings for you. You're never going to know unless you have the courage to put your cards on the table and tell him how you feel. Chances are he's not going to respond to a vague, albeit leading question like "why are you jealous exactly?" without knowing how you feel. A lot of guys I know are too insecure to tell a guy how deeply they feel until they know for sure that the feeling is mutual. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Wouldn't you rather know for sure?
JohnSomebody might be correct too, he may just be a possessive passive/aggressive person like the guy he describes from his own experience. You'd have to judge whether or not that fits his behavior.
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JohnSomebody-- Sorry to say but that is not the case, Believe it or not he is not that type of guy at all. He has been in 3 relationships in his life and they were bad, bad to the point that one was abusive. He only had sex those 3 relationships too. He even said at one point that there is nothing for him there in his country.
Steve- No it doesn't, he is about as genuine as a guy could possibly be, shy, nervous, pure, cares more about other people than himself.
I am just scared that I will fall for him again, but then again that implies that I stopped falling for him....
Deep inside I have always still had feelings for him I just kept it too myself because I valued our friendship and I really really don't want to ruin it if he doesn't feel the same way. I told him when he told me that that I was jealous too when he was with somebody. He didn't say much of a response besides "I'm rarely with somebody" in which I said " but you have been" and he said "true" then we fell silent and I said I am sorry that I made him jealous/hurt him
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"Does he still have feelings for me?" <<< the 8th dumbest question on earth and most popular title for threads by n00bies in forums who have been skyping and camming and thinking it was some sort of relationship.
Trust me on this... We've heard it all before. Trust me on this too. No matter what advice we give you, you won't take it.
I'm not being nasty. That's the way is always works out.
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I get it, and trust me I am no noob, just to this site. I legit had a relationship with him, rather or not you think it was is a matter of opinion. You weren't there so you have no judgement of rather it was or wasn't a relationship
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