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Terrorist locker room
#1
Two terrorists are in a locker room taking their annual shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other one bending over holding his stomach in agony. He has a huge cork stuck in his butt.

“If you do not mind me saying,” said the second terrorist, "That cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?”

“I regret I cannot”, lamented the first terrorist. “It is permanently stuck in my butt."

“I do not understand," said the other.

The first terrorist says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag with a white beard and top hat came boiling out. He said, "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you just one wish."

I said, "No shit?"
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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