I'm Ready for my First Boyfriend

[Jay]

It's quite an awkward title and thread.

I'm 32 and I'm out. But I have never been gone out for a date whatsoever. I'm still a virgin. Funny thing is I have been approached by guys before but avoided them all.

To anyone who knows me, I have been avoiding guys for years due to my commitment on weight loss (I was 363 lbs), going through multiple surgeries to remove loose skins etc.

I had too many things to handle at the time.

I also had fear of self acceptance - my injured leg, my multiple surgery scars etc. These are my reasons to avoid and delay having a boyfriend.

But I have grown up so much within the past few years. I'm now able to accept myself as it is and so on.

My original goal was only to settle for a boyfriend after I have completed all of my surgeries. I thought I would be able to complete all of my surgeries by the end of this year or at least next year. But nope, my surgeon told me that I'm on a waiting list and have to wait 2 years per surgery. I still have 2 surgeries left.

That was when I realized that I cannot wait and priority has to change.

So yes, I'm finally ready to have a boyfriend.

I don't know what to expect but I'll try to be a good boyfriend. I'm not rushing and not going to hunt a guy. I'm not desperate. What I mean is I'm ready and open for a relationship now. I hope the potential guy can accept me as who I am. That is all I'm asking for.

Best wishes.

[Anocxu]

Your opening post was really about you, hurdles, struggles, personal growth etc.

I must congratulate you on overcoming so many obstacles.


What do you consider to be a successful relationship?

What do you seek in a partner?

When you dream of your Ideal partner...
What is he like?

How sacred is your virginity?

Do you like pineapple, pumpkin , black cherry cheese cake?

[Jay]

What do you consider to be a successful relationship?

I don't know what to expect but I do hope loyalty, acceptance, honesty, lots of humor and financial stability from both sides can be a start.

I'm quite a goofball so the guy has to suffer with my goofiness. But I was told that is part of my charms. Hopefully.

What do you seek in a partner?

Few years ago, I was walking out of office building with my colleagues for lunch. I pointed out my colleagues to this gentleman who was standing outside of office building. That guy has been eyeing on me for a while. My colleagues said no because he wasn't good looking enough.

I thought that was shallow.

I don't have any special criteria for the potential guy. Example, I like guys with clean short cut hair but if I end up liking a guy with a ponytail, that's that. Same goes with tattoos. Some people think because I'm fit and go to gym religiously, I expect my guy to be like me. Well, no. I don't expect him to be muscular and go to gym. As long as he knows how to stay healthy, that's fine with me.

Stability in finance is the only thing that I could think of.

Oh, I'm not into open relationship. I prefer monogamous.

When you dream of your Ideal partner...
What is he like?

Like those hunky muscular porn models ...

But seriously, nothing really. Not that I could think of. I don't have any problem if the guy is few years younger or older than me. I don't have problem with religion, culture or skin color. Just please don't practice extremism and dictate me with your religion because I'm agnostic. I don't have any problem if the guy is thin, muscular or a bit overweight.

I don't have any special requirement because I know that there is no such thing as perfection. I was a morbid obese young man who had to go through many things in life. Who am I to judge other people? My experience alone tells me that everyone is equal.

One thing though. I wouldn't call him a partner. Why can't I call him a boyfriend like straight people do? That's all.

Oh, if the guy has a bit of funny side that would be nice. Sensitive side would be a nice touch. So I can do Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing ... in a goofy way.

How sacred is your virginity?

Not really sacred. In my country, it's normal for everyone in my race to keep virginity until you get married.

But I'm a gay guy. The only reason why I am not being drilled or drill anyone yet is because of the reasons I have mentioned above.

My friends and even I myself have made jokes about my own virginity. My straight friends threatened to drag me to a gigolo for bondage and 'drilling' if I don't lose virginity before 30. I thought that was funny.

Even funnier, I told my real estate client from Australia this one particular lame joke. My client knows I'm gay and he was like a big brother. I went, "How do you regain and retain your virginity?"

"How?" He asked.

"By consuming Extra Virgin Olive Oil daily. Extra Virgin, get it? Get it?" I laughed silly.

He rolled his eyes. But he laughed too.

Do you like pineapple, pumpkin , black cherry cheese cake?

I have never tried cheesecake before. No reason not to try. But I bake. Cookies. A lot.