08-17-2015, 08:41 PM
An Irishman was stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he came upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeded into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.
The preacher turned around and was almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asked the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk shouts,"Yes, I am."
So the preacher grabbed him and dunked him into the water. He pulled him back up and asked, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replied,"No, I haven't found Jesus!"
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunked him again but for a little longer. He again pulled him out of the water and asked, "Have you found Jesus, brother?"
The drunk answered, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"
By this time, the preacher was at his wits end and dunked the drunk again; but this time held him down for about 30 seconds, and when he began kicking his arms and legs about, he pulled him up. The preacher again asked the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk staggered upright, wiped his eyes, coughed up a bit of water, caught his breath, and asked the preacher, "Are you sure this is where He fell in?â€Â
The preacher turned around and was almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asked the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk shouts,"Yes, I am."
So the preacher grabbed him and dunked him into the water. He pulled him back up and asked, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replied,"No, I haven't found Jesus!"
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunked him again but for a little longer. He again pulled him out of the water and asked, "Have you found Jesus, brother?"
The drunk answered, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"
By this time, the preacher was at his wits end and dunked the drunk again; but this time held him down for about 30 seconds, and when he began kicking his arms and legs about, he pulled him up. The preacher again asked the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk staggered upright, wiped his eyes, coughed up a bit of water, caught his breath, and asked the preacher, "Are you sure this is where He fell in?â€Â
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams