09 what a swine (so far)

[sparky71]

I wanted this to be a thread about hope and moving on but so far this year has been a bit of a rollercoaster. It started off well with me and my friends having a sans alchohol or drugs bash and me and my closest friends stayed up until 6am talking about our hopes and aspirations for the forthcomming year. For you all to get an honest flavour of this thread I have to explain a few things. Last year my mum had a stroke which left her in a wheelchair four mounths later she was diagnosed with an advanced form of cancer. A week ago we were told it was going to get progressively worse over the comming mounths. As I am the only one who lives with and cares for my mum the whole looking after her to the end thing has fallen on me. I am devastated. Three mounths ago I came off my antidepressants because for the first time in years I began to feel happy. But the last 3 weeks have seen me sink back into the abyss, Ive stopped writting and lost all pleasure in everyday things (Thus my absense from GS). I am left thinking do I go back on the ADs or do I struggle through. I feel like going back on them would admit defeat. I would appreciate peoples advice on this. I know none of you are medical proffessionals but any advice is welcome.

[princealbertofb]

Well, Sparky... You are going through rough times and the times will be rougher as your mother's condition deteriorates, yet you seem to want to be there for her and you need to be strong. I know it's not much fun being on Anti-Depressants but quite honestly, if you need them at the moment, you need them, so take them. There is no point in you being unable to cope with what sounds like a very harrowing time because you are just struggling to keep off them. Of course, it would be perfect if you had the energy and morale to help your mother through this phase of her life (and yours) without the ADs but if you've been able to come off them once, I reckon you'll be able to get off them again, once things have settled. I am, in any case, very sorry to hear of your plight and your mother's illness. Please feel free to come and pour out your anxiety and questions and wonderings on here, so we might help you to feel a bit less fragile and alone. It's a difficult thing to live through someone's agony. I remember just how it was when my brother was dying of Aids. Sparky, get professional help from a doctor if necessary. That's what they are there for. Get support from your friends too, because that's what friends are for too. to you.
PA

[zeon]

Hiya Sparky babes,
Sorry to hear about your mothers condition... I personally wouldnt recommend going onto the AD'S reason being is it may become a form of reliant if something bad happens god forbid!! But when ive gone through a rough patch ive kept a diary/journal of my thoughts and feelings... Excluding GS may be something your not wanting to do babes as we are all here and help and assistance will be on hand.. I know when your down in dumps ya tend to think the next morning... Shit why did i write that they all gonna think im friggin wierd.... Or that might just be me but to be honest we wont think your a manic depressant your still be sparky to us lot and we will work as a community to support you anyway that we can do online... If you need to have a good cry or whatever please let us support ya by listening and taking some weight off your shoulders and giving some advice....

Once again im sorry to hear about your mother and i hope she manages to defeat this...

Kindest regards and big hugz

zeon xx

[fredv3b]

If you have required antidepressants for years then coming off them is going to be difficult at the best of times. This is clearly not the best of times. I wouldn't regard going back on them as a defeat, merely as victory that was nearly but not quite achieved due to difficult circumstances.

[sparky71]

Thanks guys it brings tears to my eyes to think that you lot care. I hope to get proffessional advice soon and will keep you all posted. Its times like this that I realise why GS is such an excellent site.

[zeon]

Hi Sparky,
If ya went on any other forum other than GS they may give negative comments but those comments show that community spirit is nothing and nothing means there is no site worth visiting.. I must admit this is the longest forum ive been joined to because of the spirit on here on past ones babes theres been shit administrators that allow violations to go on

kindest regards

zeon

[marshlander]

Hi Sparky,

Really sorry that the burdens you've been carrying for such a long time are set to get heavier. May I wish you the courage and strength you need to get through this.

I'm with those who say that deciding to go back on the ADs is no admission of defeat at this time. If they helped before, there's no reason why they shouldn't provide a rope to keep you out of that dark hole for little longer.

Best wishes.

[Arthur.FWT]

I wouldn't regard going back on them as a defeat, merely as victory that was nearly but not quite achieved due to difficult circumstances.

This is awesome advice, and seconded by one who's had his share of medication-related fun. Means to an end mate.

Only thing to add to that is stay strong man.

[Shadow]

I too am minded to agree with fredv3b to be honest ... I think that if you have been ON anti-depressants for a significant period of time, it will invariably be difficult initially to come off them, and so to do so at a time when you require ALL your strength to support your mum (and by the way I TOO am really gutted for what she AND you must be going through :frown is not the wisest course of action in my estimation ...

... so yeah - if you feel the benefit, and you believe they will help you deal with the troubled path you're currently walking, then I don't see any reason to put yourself through any MORE anguish than you're already experiencing ...

I'd stay with them ... for now.

.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[yar]

Life is nothing but highs and lows and you seamed to have hit rock bottom, take care of your self and your mom. you are a strong, good person take pride in that, build on it.