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I admit befuddlement. Do I understand it that there is no way she will act to give you any sort of sexual interaction? If that is the case, you must have at least the opening to discuss the matter. Ask her what she thinks you should do. Make clear to her that this is a two way street and that, while the rest of your marriage is not at risk [or is it?], this part is presenting serious difficulties. Then too, does she have needs for affection and intimacy that you are not fulfilling or cannot fulfill? Counselling could help the two of you to look at the whole picture. I think there is much more than sex involved here.
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L Jay
She is physically incapable of having sex, due to injury's sustained in a riding accident , not to mention she had a complete hysterectomy to boot. So she has no sex drive., pain from injuries (flattened pelvis) plus some other female issues. Oral sex has always been a no no, anal sex for the above mentioned reasons is out also. Would she let me clime on and pump a way sure, but it would be like doing it with an inflatable.
Otherwise we have a good relationship believe it or not.
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How about this?
Turn the Tables..
You are now her..
She is now you.
You are truly unable to pleasure your partner because of a horrible accident ..
what would you expect your partner to do?
How would you really feel?
How would you handle it?
One final question...
What was your sex life like before her surgery and accident?
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Anocxu
Our sex life before was quite active. 3-4 times a week.
But with the surgery there is "0" sex drive on her part left. She would have figured out that she could still enjoy sex with out the drive if it hadn't been for the accident. Which made it physically painful.
You all have given me some Ideas to look into. Thanks a bunch.
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JackBoneTX Wrote:SAVAGE: Sometimes. Better to do what you need to do to stay married and stay sane. If your partner won’t fuck you, one person doesn’t have the right to unilaterally declare another person’s sex life over.
However unpopular it might be to many who have replied to this thread, I am in agreement with the statement. To my mind it is not cheating (whatever the vows). Your wife cannot condem you to a life of celibacy and what the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve about. If you can get it, go for it.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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JackBoneTX Wrote:Just to clarify, I was attempting to highlight the very last part about unilaterally ending your partner's sex life. I'm not a fan of cheating.
Yes, I realise that. I'm not a fan of cheating either but in this case the wife is being unreasonable. She can't have it so her husband will just have to lump it too, That simply isn't fair.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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I'm not sure about the relevance of your wife's problems to your closeted sexuality here. You'd probably find other excuses to do what you're doing.
The one thing clear here is that she needs to know. At the very least that you need sex. It's understandable and normal. Of course none of this will be easy for her to hear, but it's better this way than it will be if she finds out through other means.
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