Three very short ones

[LONDONER]

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD40.

A boy asks his granny, ''Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?'' Granny replies, ''To hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen?"

[LONDONER]

I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him.

I shouted - What are you doing Charlie?

He said, I'm going to change a light bulb.

Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said,

- That's gonna be a bit awkward init?

- Not really. he said. I still have the receipt, you insensitive moron.