Hello

[Eru]

Hi everyone, I have been around this site for a while now, but didn't have time for a proper greeting to people, so mistake should be corrected now

Short story about self-actualization: I developed a favor for male partners during middle school but not until I acknowledged that everyone around me doesn't seem very happy if they know I am into men that I recognize I couldn't speak out my sexual orientation freely to people. Funny, because before I knew the word gay or homosexual, I absolutely have zero concern about which gender a person could be attracted to, but then when it hit me that people kept laughing when a comedian told a story relating to homosexual, my awareness of the term homophobic developed since then, and I started losing confidence about myself. Such a pity, because now I have to work up restlessly to feel the way I felt many years ago about my sexual identity and contend with the pressure from people who has a problem with that. But oh well, [I]I'm glad I'm not the only one[/I]

I have been searching for a gay forum that people actually talk and share compassion for each other, not questioning other like: "Are you hard???" like the last forums that I joined.

About me: I think I have to jump to the worst part right away so it could wash up quickly, I have mental illness, I'm not sure which kind but I have difficulty interacting with other people and face mass obsessions and compulsions in daily life that I constantly suffer headaches and depressions. I'm not going to lie, but I haven't attend any medical assistance ever since I knew that I was sick, partly because I don't trust the hospital due to treatment for mental illness in my country proves to be incompetent and unpopular that hardly anyone who attended was cured successfully. As you might expected, I have very few friends, and I have to admit there were darkest years I have ever encountered but I'm still trying my best to reach the sunlight and to beautify my life in the most positive way possible.
I like to chat very much, during the year when face to face interaction was difficult for me, I went online and chat with people a lot, sharing our moments and stuffs like that. I also like drawing, and I am eager to show people my works but I'm too afraid they will make fun of it. I like listening to classical music and watch drama movies. I play a few games - Dota, Dominations (IOS), and mortal kombat. I'm glad to join any of you if you happen to be a fan of these games too.^^. I'm hoping to become a designer or an artist of some sort.
I'm so happy to be able to share this much in this site. Because, like I said, the last forums I joined doesn't really appreciate having normal talks between gay people, Hoping to have some good moments here with you guys.