Hi,
My bf and I will have been together 3 years in December. I am 22 and he is 21. We moved in together around the 1 year mark. We are both full time students graduating in May 2016.
Our relationship has been wonderful. There have been ups and downs, but all relationships do. Within the past 5 months or so, I've been having second thoughts. This is both of ours first time in a serious relationship with a guy (we dated girls in high school). We never have sex anymore, and I know it's not just about that, but it feels as the attraction is gone. Like, we've just fallen apart, on my end at least. I feel as though we are more of really good friends, that live together, rather than a couple. Some days I wish I could just be young and single and enjoy life. But then I feel bad because I know he loves me so much!
Has anyone else ever felt this way? Any advice?
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If the spark in your relationship is dormant.. "light it up"
When was the last time you two went out on a date?
Did a romantic stroll?
Cut all the lights off on a rainy day .. curled up together watching a favourite movie?
Do both of you spend any time apart?
If you are secretly wishing you are single "sometimes".. doesn't that reflect on your relationship?
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These young kids settling down and playing house at 18/19. Why???
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well as this is your first post im just wondering if your wanting confirmation that you should end it ?
have you fallen into a humdrum relationship going through the motions etc ? maybe if you want to carry on then you need to get back to what brought you both together in the first place.....Anocxu gives some great examples of things to spice it up again,
if you have the one year itch and want to move on then are you so sure that you wont get these same feelings in your next relationship ? been a couple take hard work and compromise as other with partners will I am sure explain to you in further posts mate..
end of the day it is up to either one of you to decide that you no longer love the other - in that case it may be time to move on if you cant fix things - good luck
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One of the things that is fascinating about youth is the rate at which changes occur. In the progress of a year or two things can be completely different. Even over a summer vacation students seem to be different people when they return to school.
You are both young. No matter what that diploma says, you have maturing in front of you. Youth has its brilliance and energy and openness, but it takes a while to put all that together into a formed personality.
Anocxu makes some good points about the two of you giving yourselves some time for rediscovery. After the fisrt part of a relationship there comes a time when you need to talk and caress in a different way. It is a real challenge but you should not give up until you have given it a serious try.
I bid NO Trump!
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Been there, done that. If you get to a point that you have to force it, then it wasn't meant to be. An ex of mine and I went on playing this charade for a year after the spark was gone, breaking up was the best thing for us. We are still real good friends. He found someone he really loves and I've been with wrong guy after wrong guy. Ok, so it was the best thing for him, lol.
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My partner and I have been together 14 years and just married on October 10th. Every relationship has "hot" and "cold" spells. A real relationship is as much about commitment as it is a warm fuzzy feeling everytime you are with your partner. Honestly, you may be too young for such a commitment. However, I think the first step for you might be to sit down with your partner and discuss what you are feeling. It may simply be that any number of other life issues or circumstances or stresses are getting between the two of you. Through the course of any relationship you fall in and out of live (yes, I dared to say it) over and over again. The key is whether or not you are willing to ride out the dry seasons and wait for the next rainfall. Start with a sincere conversation. Do not fear reactions or rejection, as the conversation is necessary, like surgery. And like surgery, once the initial discomfort has passed, the healing begins. And when it is all done, you will be far healthier in the end. God bless!
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