My Jokes

[thawoods]

Q: What meal is never sad?
A: the Happy Meal

[thawoods]

.....a conversation between mother and daughter about the names that she gave to her children:
D: Mom, where did Marriott get her name?
M: You see dear, your dad and I had our honey-moon at the Marriott hotel.
D: How about Hilton mom? Where did he get his name?
M: Your father and I were married a second time and had our honey-moon at the Hilton.
D: How about Jerry mom, where did he get his name?
M: Please stop it Wendy! You're so persistent!

[thawoods]

...Daniel was thown into the lion's den when he asked god to save him from the lion.

Daniel: Lord please make this lion a Christian.
***suddenly the lion knelt and prayed.....***
Lion: Bless us O Lord this food we are about to eat, in Jesus name we pray, Amen.

[zepplin1]

two snails are sitting at a bar.
and a third walks in clearly traumatized.
Snails 1&2: whoa bud whats the issue.
Snail 3: I just watched my best friend get a-salted
snail 2: man that's rough
snail 3: even then he only cared about me, last words he said to me before I ran were "escar go!"
snail 1: well its good to know he cared
snail 3: I guess but its weird
snail 1: why?
snail 3: because my name is bob

[thawoods]

Q: What does spider-man use to take a selfie?
A: a webcam

[thawoods]

Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
A peck of pickled peppers did Peter piper pick
If Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
How the HELL did those peppers get pickled?

[thawoods]

[jamiebfd]

I think you will like these. Very much your style ;-)

Enjoy

[thawoods]

...sorry girl, but only boys are allowed here.

[jamiebfd]

...sorry girl, but only boys are allowed here.

Well excuse me for trying to break the ice!