What's your type?

[LJay]

What's mine? I'll have a Manhattan, Mike.

Just can't get into the type thing. Variety is good.

The worst lay I ever had was a drop dead gorgeous sort that was dull as dishwater in bed. Too bad.

[AlfredM]

Sure, I could post pix of guys I think are cute or hot or w/e but, truth be told, for me it isn't about a "type". Like someone said, its more about "chemistry".

I agree, I'd put priority on chemistry too.

That said, I still have a type of course. Generally, all of which in the bear culture.

[morgan]

body hair is a massive turn on for me!

[ShiftyNJ]

solidly built, on the smoother side body wise (some hair is okay as long as it is soft), vary a lot on facial hair (has to work on the guy), low-maintenance . The bulk of guys who turn my head have been Caucasian (largely a product of where I grew up, that's all there was!) but I do not rule someone out based on race... i see guys from all over the planet who do it for me.

Wentworth Miller, Channing Tatum, Ryan Phillippe are a few guys whom I think are hot.

[Insertnamehere]

What's yours?

I suppose I can answer this and the other question you asked, oh wise and relentless man.

12 year old me realizes he likes other guys, 13 year old me comes to know, by doing some research, just how bad it can potentially get if people know. So, 13 year old me decides it's best to keep it quiet and not doing things that might give people a clue...like acting on feelings towards other guys.

28 year old me wants (and has wanted for a few years) to drop all that nonsense, but remains more or less, dominated by the fear.

To this basic structure you can add a crappy personality, social anxiety, overfocusing on work and more importantly a tendency to stay within my comfort zone (my room, where it's safe from the outside world) and not pushing myself to deal with these issues and take some risks.

I have been working against myself for quite some time now, you see.

[MikeW]

...I have been working against myself for quite some time now, you see.

First, thanks for answering the question. Was wondering if you would. I'm not quite sure where you are and what the cultural conditions are. You remind me of a young guy (used to hang out on the forum a bit) from Columbia who had/has very similar issues. Only 16yo, but I suspect he'll be much like you at age 28.

IDK... Don't know if you've looked at the thread URL in my signature. It talks about some of my discovering. I had a lot of hangups... although, strangely, not about sex exactly. More about the social aspects of being gay. Don't want to make this about me... but, what may be important to know, is I didn't truly become comfortable with myself, and my sexuality, until I was in my mid to late 30s. AFTER the HIV crisis here in the states. So, I didn't partner until my early 40s.

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. A lot of it for me was just making up my mind to SEEK OUT social experiences that I was fearful of. Feel the fear, do it anyway. I'm not talking about taking genuine risks... I'm talking about being fearful of social situations where there were no risks at all.

[Insertnamehere]

First, thanks for answering the question. Was wondering if you would. I'm not quite sure where you are and what the cultural conditions are. You remind me of a young guy (used to hang out on the forum a bit) from Columbia who had/has very similar issues. Only 16yo, but I suspect he'll be much like you at age 28.

This being the second question, I figured I should.

Southern Cone dweller, on Pacific shores. Conservative society (less so as years go by). I don't have it quite as bad a lets say, a Middle Eastern, but still far from ideal.

He must NOT. If he goes to college, THAT is a very important chance he will get to make a change (a chance I didn't take). I hope he gets to know that.

IDK... Don't know if you've looked at the thread URL in my signature. It talks about some of my discovering. I had a lot of hangups... although, strangely, not about sex exactly. More about the social aspects of being gay. Don't want to make this about me... but, what may be important to know, is I didn't truly become comfortable with myself, and my sexuality, until I was in my mid to late 30s. AFTER the HIV crisis here in the states. So, I didn't partner until my early 40s.

I have looked at it and read a bit. I have yet to finish it. Which has been, curiously enough, going through my head lately.

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. A lot of it for me was just making up my mind to SEEK OUT social experiences that I was fearful of. Feel the fear, do it anyway. I'm not talking about taking genuine risks... I'm talking about being fearful of social situations where there were no risks at all.

Thank you. That offer will remain in my immediate memory.

Yes, that does sound logical of course. I find it outstanding how much I let fear paralyze me. But the good thing, I guess, is that in past months I have been experiencing the decomposition of my life structure. All the more plausible for me to attempt a proper reconstruction with new material.


*back to topic*