Dating a guy with chronic hep b

[Anonymous]

Hi guys,

I started casually dating someone about two weeks ago and we are getting along pretty well. I believe we are quite compatible. Recently we were planning our first sleepover date and the night I stayed over he told me over dinner that he has chronic hep b from when he was a kid.

I am a little freaked out by this and I'm not quite sure what to do. I have been immunized for hep b when I was 12 and now I'm 28. I've done a lot of research online and I know this is very low risk and virtually none when using protection.... He's a really nice guy and its hard to come but these days...

I just worry what if I'm the one in a million where a vaccine doesn't work.

What if he gets sick later in life and I can't handle it.

It also bothers me that he is a occasional drinker when be has a lived disease.

What are your thoughts on this?? Would you date someone with this condition knowing that your immune ??

[thawoods]

oh, man, this is bad, there is no known cure for this illness, you'd have to get past a miracle before you decide to be with this guy

[InbetweenDreams]

Maybe try getting re-vaccinated? Without looking into it I do know on some you have to do every 10 years...while others are just a one time deal. If you use protection you're going to be fine... I mean there's going to be a degree of risk... condom could break, etc.

I would get a doctor's opinion too... I don't know if there's anyone here who's qualified to give you a professional answer but I would definitely getting another vaccination and use protection at a start.

[Pacific]

Copied from CDC website (would post the link, but since I don't have greater than 50 posts, I don't have that privilege yet):

How long does protection from hepatitis B vaccine last?
Studies indicate that immunologic memory remains intact for at least 20 years among healthy vaccinated individuals who initiated hepatitis B vaccination >6 months of age. The vaccine confers long-term protection against clinical illness and chronic hepatitis B virus infection. Cellular immunity appears to persist even though antibody levels might become low or decline below detectable levels.

Among vaccinated cohorts who initiated hepatitis B vaccination at birth, long-term follow-up studies are ongoing to determine the duration of vaccine-induced immunity.

[Lacitis70]

I've two hepatitis, B and C. That's what happened to many people who got blood transfusions in 80s. I've had them for more than 20 years and I'm still alive and feel good.

He should definitely stay away from drinking as liver is ill as it is. Drinking can worsen his condition to cirrhosis, he should understand that himself.

As for you - know that hepatitis virus is very vital, you need less blood to get hepatitis than you need to get HIV. Use protection always. Unfortunately hepatitis B virus is not transmitted through blood only, also through sperm or other body fluids.

Use condoms and you'll be fine. No need to let this illness in the way of the beautiful relationships you two can have.

[Camfer]

It's good you did your research and got the vaccination years ago.

I think what stands out most in your post is some unrealistic idea that you could find someone who is never going to get sick, fall on hard times, and ultimately at some point die. In relationships, each partner has his ups and downs, his time of being in need, and his time for caring for his partner. Eventually one partner dies and often the other is still around to live on. It's rare that both people die simultaneously. Maybe it's you who goes first. Who knows?

Are you ready for a real relationship, in general, not with this guy in particular? It sounds a little bit like maybe you are not. Or do you just want to date casually and then avoid any kind of commitment, so you have an out if someone actually needs your help? Sounds a little immature and superficial on your part, maybe? Especially given that you know the risk of hep B infection to you is "virtually none."

For all this guy knows, it's *you* who's going to come down with something and he's going to be caring for you.

Maybe you can reflect on what you really want from your dating. I don't think that is clear for you now. If you want to be in a real relationship with a man, you are going to have to accept him for everything that he is, and vice versa.

He already knows that you are reconsidering things. Be honest with him. Be honest with yourself.

[meridannight]

if i liked the guy i would date him even if my risks were higher. this is all secondary matter to me. i care about a man, who he is, and the connection that we have. and that is the only thing that factors in on the decision whether i want to be with him or not.

[azulai]

I started casually dating someone about two weeks ago and we are getting along pretty well. I believe we are quite compatible. Recently we were planning our first sleepover date and the night I stayed over he told me over dinner that he has chronic hep b from when he was a kid.

My thoughts: He should have had the discussion before the sleepover not the night of. Didn’t give you time to process, research, etc. So a minus (-) for that but a plus (+) for his honesty.

I am a little freaked out by this and I'm not quite sure what to do. I have been immunized for hep b when I was 12 and now I'm 28. I've done a lot of research online and I know this is very low risk and virtually none when using protection.... He's a really nice guy and its hard to come but these days...

I just worry what if I'm the one in a million where a vaccine doesn't work.

Go to your doctor and discuss this. The vaccine immune response is about 20 years but there are some people where the vaccine doesn’t cause enough of an immune response to acquire immunity. Your doctor will run a test that measures the amount of antibodies for HBV in your blood and then make recommendations based on the facts. Five-year boosters are recommended for anyone thought to be at continuing risk of infection.

It’s ok to be freaked out, why can't you be?
Fact: HBV is quite stable in the environment and remains viable for 7 or more days on surfaces at room temperature and is still capable of transmitting HBV despite the absence of visible blood.
BUT, go to your doctor and get the proper advice. You should also see about the hepatitis A vac. Your doctor may discuss annual screening for syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, as well. Maybe you should do some research on PrEP???

What if he gets sick later in life and I can't handle it.

No one has any promises of health.

It also bothers me that he is a occasional drinker when be has a lived disease.

Ideally those with chronic HBV are suppose to avoid alcohol (maximum is 2 drinks/week), raw oysters and undercooked shellfish (high risk of bacterial infection), and limit use of acetaminophen. Coffee, on the other hand, is recommended since the coffee bean itself has associated antioxidant effects of warding off cirrhosis (although it has a greater impact on those with hepatitis C).

What are your thoughts on this?? Would you date someone with this condition knowing that your immune ??

I’d check my immunity, get vac.s updated if needed, then date. I’d be more concerned about the drinking and what that tells me about him. I’d question “why?” — to fit in, to relax and unwind? Those are more important than his health? Does he smoke? There might be other things that would be more of a deal breaker than HBV. Does he take his meds? Does he get tested annually? The next guy may not be as honest, at least this guy was responsible and trying to build trust.