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Lost in Arkansas
#1
Bob a young journalism graduate from the University of Arkansas had gone to work for the New York Times. His first assignment was to write a brief human interest story. An idea came to Bob and he returned to one of the most remote areas he knew of in his home state of Arkansas.

Deep in the woods, Bob came upon a farmers house and decided this would be a good place to start. He introduced himself to the back country farmer and explained why he was there. The farmer (named Farmer Dick) agreed to answer his questions.

Bob asked farmer Dick what event in his life had made him the happiest?

Farmer Dick replied, “One time a neighbor lost one of his sheep. We all formed a
posse and found it. After we all had sex with it, we took it back to the farmer that
lost it.”

“I can’t print that,” said Bob the reporter, “Is there another event that made you
really happy?”

Farmer Dick thought for a minute and said, “Yep. One time the daughter
of another local farmer got lost. She was a good-lookin’ young girl. We all formed a posse and found her. After all of us had sex with her, we took her back to her daddy.”

Again Bob knew he couldn’t print the story and decided to take a different tack.
He asked Farmer Dick, “Is there any event in your life that has made you really sad?”

Farmer Dick hung his head and replied, “Well, I got lost once".
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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