Do I Stay or Leave?

[Adzz02]

Im currently seeing this guy who i care for loads!!
... But last night he went out with some mates drinking which i have no problem with, and today he told me that he made out with a guy.
I thought nothing of this and said that i wont worry about it as such because you were drunk and if it dint mean anything whats the problem?
However, i later found out that they done more than just kissing (BJ's).

Now i really dont know what to do!?! It feels like he has cheated on me and what makes it worse is that he told me when he is drunk he often does stuff he regrets. And told me he has never gone that far before... This is what makes it worse - He is in a relationship and has gone further than he ever has!?

... What would you do if it was you in my position?
Thankyou x

[Phil]

Once a cheater....

[Adzz02]

Does that count even when they are drunk?

[tapalapadapa]

Personally I feel that even when drunk, one still has a grasp on whats right and wrong. If it was me, no matter how pissed I got, I'd still remember that I had a boyfriend. Then there's the fact that he didn't tell you the whole story initially. If someone wants to be with many people, I don't know why they'd feel the need to stay in a relationship. Then again, he could have said nothing, so he obviously cares for you. It's your call about what your willing to forget and forgive I suppose, but try not to let it worry you every time he goes out without you or you'll go nuts!

[fjp999]

I think tapalapadapa has got it pretty clear.

If this happened to me, and I have had suspicions of such in the past... it would take hella long term therapy... maybe not professional help but certainly discussions with my partner until I felt that he was being totally honest and totally devoted to our relationship.

As tapalapadapa says, it would be really tough to NOT trust him and have that constant "is he cheating now, right now" thought. It would certainly drive me insane even if my love remained.

Is a very tough one Adzz02 and I am sorry it has happened to you and hope you are able to come to good terms with your bf.

[marshlander]

Stay or leave? Are you living together?

Haven't you really got two things to sort out:
- what do you want?
- what do you think he wants?

If you can work out your feelings about those issues you can find a way to get over the other stuff.

Good luck and I hope it stops hurting sooner rather than later.

[Adzz02]

Well, me and the (now ex) talked things over and came to a mutual agreement that its probably best to end things.
Thanks for the advice tho guys! x

[Phil]

Smart move there actually are respectfull guys out there

[marshlander]

Seconded