Are Gay Relationships That Hard to Find?

[CoCoCo21]

Hi Everyone,

Let me start by saying that I'm really sick this weekend. I may be exaggerating, but needless to say, I've been in bed for two days now with the flu.

Anyway, I'm here sitting and thinking. I just turned 31 last month, and I have yet to be in a relationship. I'm starting to think that it has to be that I'm too picky or maybe there's something wrong with me.

Well, I should probably state that I've accepted myself as being gay only 5 years ago. Still, it's been 5 years and I can't find a decent man. I don't want to get into the masculinity complex, but that's usually the problem. I don't interrogate people with 21 questions when I'm meeting them on these online applications, but when I meet them, I'm just turned off by their mannerisms. I try to overlook it because they're actually good people, and I request to be their friend, but they automatically get offended that I turned them down and write me off.

I should also mention that I'm not into the gay scene and I don't announce that I'm gay to everyone I meet, but if I'm asked, I don't hide it.

I don't think I'm a bad looking guy. I have a professional career and I work out regularly.

I sometimes feel like maybe this "monogamous gay relationship" that I've been seeking for is not meant for me.

Can anyone relate?

-Misael

[jimcrackcorn]

Sorry to hear that your feeling poorly,, and hope you are feeling better soon.

There are lots of groups that you can join in your area that are not part of the bar scene.

Here is one that I'd recommend. It's not a dating site, but you will meet a lot of people who you can connect with and maybe find Mr. Right.

http://www.meetup.com/Tarrant-Co-Primiere-LGBT-Group/

Sincerely,
Jim

[CoCoCo21]

Hi Jim,

Well, thank you. I will check it out. I'm a little skeptical because I don't know what I'll find, but we all must take chances. Right?

[Insertnamehere]

Drop the skepticism and try it.

It could be that your standards are too high and what you consider a mannerism is just too exaggerated. Maybe not and maybe you keep meeting the same kind of guy over and over. Who knows. Gay dudes come in all shape, sizes, forms....just like any other person out there really.

I wouldn't deem myself as having "mannerisms", I'm just a regular dude but I was also never the sports-crazed, pick-up-a-fight-with-anything-that-walks kinda guy, which is deemed as "manly" around here, so I bet some folks wouldn't call me a "man".

See my point?

Get out there and meet more people, dude.

[CoCoCo21]

Drop the skepticism and try it.

It could be that your standards are too high and what you consider a mannerism is just too exaggerated. Maybe not and maybe you keep meeting the same kind of guy over and over. Who knows. Gay dudes come in all shape, sizes, forms....just like any other person out there really.

I wouldn't deem myself as having "mannerisms", I'm just a regular dude but I was also never the sports-crazed, pick-up-a-fight-with-anything-that-walks kinda guy, which is deemed as "manly" around here, so I bet some folks wouldn't call me a "man".

See my point?

Get out there and meet more people, dude.

I understand what you're saying. The thing is that your hobbies have nothing to do with what I would consider manly. A girl could be into sports, hunting, fishing, mechanics, and love to drink beer...but at the end of the day, she's still a girl. I don't associate your hobbies with being "manly" at all.

To me, it's about how you're carrying yourself. If you hang your speech in certain words or if you move your body a certain way...that to me says more than anything. Maybe it's not even a "masculinity" thing. Maybe it's just that I don't like how some people behave. I guess that goes back to people being and not being my type.

I'm not skeptical about any guy per se...but if there's no attraction when I meet them, what am I supposed to do then?

[Insertnamehere]

I'm not skeptical about any guy per se...but if there's no attraction when I meet them, what am I supposed to do then?

Politely say you're not interested, move along and keep trying.

Get out there and meet people, dude. You'll find more than your fair share of guys that will be suitable for you.

[CoCoCo21]

Politely say you're not interested, move along and keep trying.

Get out there and meet people, dude. You'll find more than your fair share of guys that will be suitable for you.

Yeah, that's what I've been doing. It just seems that no one I meet is ever my type. I may just be too picky.

I think I started a little late though. A few guys that I would consider my type always end up being partnered with someone.

Thanks for the support. I will keep trying and maybe one day I will meet someone.

[Camfer]

I'm not skeptical about any guy per se...but if there's no attraction when I meet them, what am I supposed to do then?

You be honest with him and try to be his friend. You can meet people through your loose ties much more naturally than you can meet people via online apps. Maybe you won't end up with a BF for a while, but you can at least have a rich life of decent people around you. That's half the battle won right there.

[CoCoCo21]

You be honest with him and try to be his friend. You can meet people through your loose ties much more naturally than you can meet people via online apps. Maybe you won't end up with a BF for a while, but you can at least have a rich life of decent people around you. That's half the battle won right there.

Yes, that's what I will try to do. Like I previously mentioned though, many times when I tell them that I'm not interested, they no longer want anything to do with me.

I will try doing those "MeetUp" groups that one of the members here suggested. That may lead me to meeting great people who aren't interested in dating me, but actually making friends. Maybe I will meet someone thought them.

[Meurzh]

They have been for me, unfortunately.