was I deceived or was that okay??

[verysimple]

so I have this friend that I asked to borrow some cash from until I get the paycheck and pay him back.. I know money is no problem to him which is why I asked him.. He said yes and told me to come to the capital to get the money and that we would hang together too.. which was great cuz I too had a meeting and told him about it and the time i was getting done and he said that it was fine and we were gonna meet after I have the meeting..

So I went to the capital and messaged him after my meeting to tell him that I arrived and waiting for him... he replied saying that he had a work meeting so I told him I'll wait,
I waited and waited for three hours.. and had to miss my work because I didn't have the money to go back home and get to work.. after three hours, I messaged him and he told me to not wait for him.. So I said that I have no money and that I'd have to stay in the capital which is "Amman"..

HE then replid saying "PLEASE DO NOT ADD MORE PRESSURE ON MY SHOULDERS"

After reading this, I said nothing, I called a friend.. Borrowed enough cash to get me home and got home safely..
After getting home, I replied to his message with "No problem, I wouldn't have asked you if I knew I was bothering you."

To which he said, "No, you are not bothering me at all just had a lot of work..." Then he asked "Did you get home safely?"

I said, "Yes, but I am still in need of that money I asked for.."

He just didn't say anything after that.

Idk, I am honestly pissed cuz whatever his situation.. He doesn't have the right to say that he will be there and then ditch me just cuz he was stressed... That's not what friends do...

I talked to a friend and he told me that he was busy and couldn't get back to me... that this is how his mentality works and that he is a practical person. Well, when a practical person says something, he does it. It's not my problem he has a meeting at the same time we were supposed to meet.. It just means that I don't mean shit to him to come all the way, waste three hours of my time and miss work.. So I wasted time, money from my paycheck and didn't get the money I asked for..

He still told me to forget it and not talk to him about it cuz I still "Need" him which to me sounded wrong and it goes against my principles since I am a very honest and frontforward guy.. very confronting as well. He was like, "Well that's how public relations work and successful business men work"

and am like.. U basically wanna turn me into a manipualtive fuck just not in those terms

Anyway, I'm kinda lost here and don't know what to make of this situation

[kindy64]

I can't tell you if you were deceived. I don't think so. I understand your anger though.

When you have a job, that job sometimes takes priority over other plans. Even friends in need who you've made plans with. That work meeting possibly caused additional stress and work on his shoulders that may have needed to be done right then. He could have been more communicative about his situation once he learned that he might be tied up for hours.

I would drop it, and see if you can find the money some other way.

[ceez]

I have to agree with Kindy, he might have had some extra work put on him but if it were me I would have at least sent a text to tell you that something came up. I would still give him a chance to explain himself.

[verysimple]

I can't tell you if you were deceived. I don't think so. I understand your anger though.

When you have a job, that job sometimes takes priority over other plans. Even friends in need who you've made plans with. That work meeting possibly caused additional stress and work on his shoulders that may have needed to be done right then. He could have been more communicative about his situation once he learned that he might be tied up for hours.

I would drop it, and see if you can find the money some other way.

That's the thing.. He should have given me heads up cuz I missed work cuz of it.. Which pissed me off, I still managed to get the money from elsewhere though

[Anocxu]

I think ..
You should let it go..

A very disappointing experience. . Agreed.

The reason I made that comment.. ?
There seems to be no resolve in sight regarding the issue.

You have detailed, legitimate questions ..he seems to have only facetious , dismissive answers.. which means .. he doesn't feel he owes you an apology of explanation.

P.s.

Some people are just weird when it comes to borrowing money..

Either way..
Let it go..
Take him as he comes.

[verysimple]

I have to agree with Kindy, he might have had some extra work put on him but if it were me I would have at least sent a text to tell you that something came up. I would still give him a chance to explain himself.

I don't get it though.. All it takes is a text.. I mean, Just cuz he didn't tell me abt his work situation I missed my work..

[LJay]

No, I do not think it was OK. He knew you were traveling to meet him and should have made arrangements if there was a last minute work change for him. He stood you up when you were depending on him. I would either cut him off or limit my contact severely.

You should also take stock of your finances so as to avoid such situations. Still this guy worked you over in a bad way.

[meridannight]

even extremely busy people have lunch breaks and they get off work to go home for the night. he could have told you to meet you close to his work place if he couldn't muster the time to come to you. he could've told you to wait till he finally got off work, delays do happen, and that much is understandable. he also had time to prepare in advance and make the arrangements.

complete inaccessibility is a concocted up excuse. it doesn't exist.

i agree, friends don't treat their friends like that.

[IndividuellaUni]

I would have been put off and would have distanced myself from him over that. There's no reason for the reaction like that. And this is why I don't rely on others, especially on needing to borrow money. I actually hate borrowing money from anyone.

[Borg69]

Money and friendships rarely mix well, and is often the death sentence of a friendship.

It's often too big of a burden to impose on someone, never paid back soon enough, and often gives the lender the perceived right to tell you how you're not managing your/their money correctly.