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Anonymous · 05-01-2016, 01:14 PM

I don't get why every guy I have met have to go with the fingers, like last time I suck a guy off, he has sex with me, then he tries to finger me and then he falls asleep and I have a wank not about him. And my ex, never take no for an answer , I don't think fingers belong there, yes even as a gay myself, I think it's disgusting and intrusive but different when it's a mans because you are giving them pleasure but their finger doesn't feel any pleasure

MikeW · 05-01-2016, 04:52 PM

Yeah, have you told them you don't like it? That it doesn't turn you on? Cause, I'd bet they do it because they think you DO enjoy it... and if you don't tell them otherwise, they'll not know you don't.

Speak your truth people! If you know what you want and don't want, just SAY so! And, yeah, as was said, there CAN be room for negotiation.

Insertnamehere · 05-01-2016, 05:14 PM

I think the obvious question is why do you let them?

You CAN say "I don't like that" you know?

Cridders88 · 05-01-2016, 07:15 PM

Communication is key with sex. Tell your partner(s) what you like and don't like. If he continues to do something you strongly dislike then tell him again, clearly, that you don't like it. Experimentation is good, and there will be plenty of other things both of you like doing.

Anonymous · 05-02-2016, 08:12 AM

Boaxy Wrote:Tell him to stop, or that you don't like it.

Or compromise, isn't that what a sexual relationship is all about? Maybe there are some things you like and he doesn't and again, both of you can compromise.

I don't think the anus should be used for penetration, so we all have our qualms and values and vices. I'm obviously a very, minuscule minority that believes this, so take it as that.

I hope you understand.

I do understand, I wish you wasn't such a small minority

Anonymous · 05-02-2016, 02:37 PM

MikeW Wrote:Yeah, have you told them you don't like it? That it doesn't turn you on? Cause, I'd bet they do it because they think you DO enjoy it...

No I am either silent with no expression or making hurt sounds and like I said before the ex would not take no for answer at times and recently one night stand was the same until I stopped him and he was offended, guess I am just unlucky with men.

05-02-2016, 02:45 PM

Men should be able to say no, and have it taken seriously.

While I'm all for fingering, if a guy I was with wasn't into it, why do it. I'm doing it for your pleasure, not mine, so if you don't find it pleasurable, I shouldn't do it.

MikeW · 05-02-2016, 07:52 PM

Anonymous Wrote:No I am either silent with no expression or making hurt sounds and like I said before the ex would not take no for answer at times and recently one night stand was the same until I stopped him and he was offended, guess I am just unlucky with men.

Yeah, IDK, but I think you should say "Don't do that. i don't like it. It doesn't turn me on." If they insist, time to get dressed and get the fuck out of there.

Seriously, I've never understood why guys insist on doing things that aren't pleasurable to their partner. It's just stupid, or, worse, disrespectful. You have every right to have boundaries or limits, to say what they are and insist they be respected.

05-12-2016, 12:01 PM

No means no!! Just say it and you'll be fine

09-01-2016, 10:32 AM

The male anus is richer in nerve endings than a vagina.

It can be intensely pleasurable.

But some guys don't like anal. In the OP's case, it probably would be a good idea to make this known in a non-confrontational way at the outset and then let the other person decide if they still want to go along for the ride.