Am I really gay?

[questioning9]

In today's society, I believe in just dropping the labels, not worrying about your sexuality, and just living your life. If you meet someone to whom you are attracted, approach them in a friendly way and see where it goes.

I am so glad that things have changed so much since 1978.

I know right. Being gay and being open about it does not get you killed like it used to. Although hate crimes still exist, which is sad. I really hope that this will end someday. At this rate, highly unlikely.

[starlight]

I dont know if i am 100% gay all i know is i know no man or woman would have me so i think i should give up.

[JCasey]

I am hearing two different problems here. One is your sexuality, and the other is your struggle to immediately resolve your sexuality through a monogamous relationship. You are very unlikely to find someone who is willing to be in an exclusive relationship with someone who is questioning. If you do, I would be suspect of their motives.

Here is my suggestion.... establish friendships (with no expectations beyond friendship) with a variety of people. Go to events and activities and become friends with as many people as you can. As these friendships develop, you will be able to assess which relationships stir romantic feelings for you. If the goal is a monogamous relationship, romance will be an important aspect, not just lust.

You may be bi-sexual but not bi-romantic, meaning you are sexually aroused by both sexes, but only attracted to one, or bi-romantic, but only uni-sexual. Then again, you may be bi-sexual and bi-romantic, giving you the opportunity to develop a monogamous relationship with any one of a huge number of people throughout the world.

If this approach works, you will be much more likely to find a quality relationship with someone, if not, you will end up with lots of good friends.

[questioning9]

I am hearing two different problems here. One is your sexuality, and the other is your struggle to immediately resolve your sexuality through a monogamous relationship. You are very unlikely to find someone who is willing to be in an exclusive relationship with someone who is questioning. If you do, I would be suspect of their motives.

Here is my suggestion.... establish friendships (with no expectations beyond friendship) with a variety of people. Go to events and activities and become friends with as many people as you can. As these friendships develop, you will be able to assess which relationships stir romantic feelings for you. If the goal is a monogamous relationship, romance will be an important aspect, not just lust.

You may be bi-sexual but not bi-romantic, meaning you are sexually aroused by both sexes, but only attracted to one, or bi-romantic, but only uni-sexual. Then again, you may be bi-sexual and bi-romantic, giving you the opportunity to develop a monogamous relationship with any one of a huge number of people throughout the world.

If this approach works, you will be much more likely to find a quality relationship with someone, if not, you will end up with lots of good friends.

I mean i have always had a harder time making friends with guys than girls. I don't know, but I guess I have always been drawn to girls and not guys. Guys have always come off cruel to me and girls are much more compassionate and sympathetic. Men, on the other hand, always seem harsh and when they give you that I-am-kind-of-tough look, it really drives you away. I hate it. I just get scared off very easily.

[kindy64]

You need to drop your preconceptions of what gay and straight relationships can be.

My first experience with a guy was at 11 or 12, jacking my best friend off, and getting a blow job from him. Casual sex for me is hand and oral. I've reserved anal sex for people I care about. That's just how I am. Others have their own way.

The guys I've dated were all awkward about sex. They wanted to get off but didn't want to commit to anal sex. They wanted to get to know me, and see if something more developed. I believe that is because that's what I was looking for as well.

I do believe you are over thinking things.

Stop watching porn and get out of your comfort zone a little

[seeking]

If it's going to be based on discrimination and racism, then I definitely need to be prepared and only go for asian men. i dont want to keep looking in a direction that takes me nowhere. it's a waste of time and i am impatient.

I just want to have the perfect relationship with the perfect guy. i hate fights. i hate conflicts. if you start one with me, get out of my life or else i am running away from you forever.

In fact, what you've said is exactly the concerns I have regarding looking for a relationship.

I think it takes time to find the the true one, that means we have to spend some time with different people to know if they are suitable for us. That specific people, ideally, could be of any races, of course, unless you are clearly only be attracted by some traits. However, you could still allow the possibility of guys that are different from your original ideals.

It's not like I suggest you to go for Asian men only, and because "it is easier". No. I mean try to be as open as you can when you are doing this, maybe ultimately you will be surprised that some people that you originally thought wasn't your type would become suitable for you - you never know. He could be an asian, white, black, red and etc.

So, what I mean is that do not think too much about "are white people discriminate generally" "are they racist against asian" "should I only look for asian because it's easier" those kinds of things. Because everyone knows, there are different types of people in the world and one cannot generalize all of them. Besides, the more you think about this, the less open your heart would become, and ultimately you might just missed the perfect guy in your life.

[jmccoll15]

Don't wait till you are in your fifties to find out, like I have!

[jmccoll15]

And I find quite a few Asian men to be hot, as a white guy