04-25-2009, 07:00 PM
In my country, it's really difficult to know who is gay and who is not? It's a religious country has its own way of applying their religion and they forbid love in any kind specially between men and women. Everywhere you go; you have the freedom to talk to the same sex (men in my case). All the years in school I have not seen any girl face rather than talking! Many suffer from the same thing, and we know how sex in an important issue in human being life; so many went to have their way with the same sex (men with men, women with women). It's difficult to know who is gay and who is not! I had few experiences myself and I knew many had theirs.
After graduating, Things got much better in my country and then in my life; I have been in a relationship with a girlfriend for almost a year and forgot everything about the old life (even though my GF keeps asking me about my old experiences and she told me some of hers).
I don't think I was a true gay rather forced to be one! I can't blame anyone for my choices and that's not the problem!
The problem now is I met a new hansom guy! I was not attracted to him in any particular way at the beginning except considering him one of the nice guys whom you like to be around with! Nowadays, I started to get an extremely strong feeling about him and I think he has the same! I can't imagine my life without him (though I have the strong to kill my heart and let my mind win!) When we get drunk; we kind to let our feeling go! We kissed or I kissed him on the cheek couple of times and he was happy about it and never refuse but coming towards me whenever I asked him to come! He laughed and life goes on! We both have girlfriends! and when I was talking to her on my cellphone; I sensed jealousy and he was walking around me as a crazy man lost something! At that time I called him and kissed him (my GF was on the line with me!).
I thought my feeling towards him will develop to be involved with sex but nothing happen. My mind and heart were satisfied with the kisses and long for the lips! but nothing else! He usually hugs me and I do the same! I can't wait to meet him again but my mind will be always there to monitor and control! My feeling towards my GF started to dim and I still don't know whether I'm gay or it's just a glance coming from the past and will fade away!
After graduating, Things got much better in my country and then in my life; I have been in a relationship with a girlfriend for almost a year and forgot everything about the old life (even though my GF keeps asking me about my old experiences and she told me some of hers).
I don't think I was a true gay rather forced to be one! I can't blame anyone for my choices and that's not the problem!
The problem now is I met a new hansom guy! I was not attracted to him in any particular way at the beginning except considering him one of the nice guys whom you like to be around with! Nowadays, I started to get an extremely strong feeling about him and I think he has the same! I can't imagine my life without him (though I have the strong to kill my heart and let my mind win!) When we get drunk; we kind to let our feeling go! We kissed or I kissed him on the cheek couple of times and he was happy about it and never refuse but coming towards me whenever I asked him to come! He laughed and life goes on! We both have girlfriends! and when I was talking to her on my cellphone; I sensed jealousy and he was walking around me as a crazy man lost something! At that time I called him and kissed him (my GF was on the line with me!).
I thought my feeling towards him will develop to be involved with sex but nothing happen. My mind and heart were satisfied with the kisses and long for the lips! but nothing else! He usually hugs me and I do the same! I can't wait to meet him again but my mind will be always there to monitor and control! My feeling towards my GF started to dim and I still don't know whether I'm gay or it's just a glance coming from the past and will fade away!
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
