I would just note for the OP that the dirtiest I ever felt was finding out that the guy I had just been fucking around with had a wife who didn't know he was fucking around.
35 years later and I still feel shabby.
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kindy64 Wrote:So, what's a little rape and violence between men then...
Sorry, can't control ourselves... it's in our nature.
That's just B.S.
You know that's not what I said. Extrapolating from my defense of physical and emotional passion acted and felt on out of mutual consent and desire to apply to a situation where the act is forced on another against his will is perverse. The two are nothing alike. The rapist may or may not feel desire, but the fact that he disregards the will, wishes, and emotions of the man one is supposed to care about under such circumstances invalidates his actions. They become indefensible. His desire -- if there is desire -- is not of the same quality. Instead it is a base aggression that does not care about its subject. And in consequence -- obvious moral and physical perspectives aside -- such an act cannot to be justified away by evoking lack or disregard of self-control.
The basic difference is not in self-control. Rapists don't lack self-control any more than anybody else. What they lack is respect and care for another. They are insensitive to the needs of the other. If you asked me, that is one of the worst offenses one can ever commit against another man. Whichever form it may take.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
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OP...the problem is that you are exposing another person to your personal choices and these choices may include contracting a sexually transmitted disease they didn't sign up for.
I don't know if you are gay or not...but I don't think being gay is a choice. I do think being true to yourself is a choice though and a lot of people choose to live a lie....not my path to walk so I stop short of judging them but I don't have much respect for that choice.
Good thing though...you don't need my respect. You probably should have your own though.
BTW...there are a lot of guys I have met over the years....even women..who HAVE been honest with their spouse and have an open relationship. The one thing that stands out about all of them.....they know who they are.... and are honest people. I think their spouses probably know and appreciate that about them and think it is worth it.
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I'm a : Single Bi Man
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Are you sure that you're gay?
it's perfectly possible that you're bisexual rather than gay. Or maybe just bicurious.
Neither of which is worth leaving a happy marriage for.
Either way from your post I get the feeling that you aren't going to be able to put the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.
You need to tell her about the feelings you're having, you don't need to tell her that you cheated, at least not yet anyway.
See how she responds to your attraction to men before you decide on a course of action.
But i strongly advise against cheating on her throughout your marriage, it'll make you miserable. Then sooner or later you will get caught and WHEN she finds out it will destroy her and destroy you. If you really love her talk to her now.
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