I think I will be alone for ever

[Anonymous]

I am sure I will be alone for ever, my problem is I am too clingy. I have been talking to this guy now for a while we were getting on fine, but when he doesn't call back when he says he will I get paranoid. He's always on the dating site where we meet, he lives miles away but have been planning to meet up soon. I have OCD and mental health issues. I may be alone for ever it's something I have to get used to but it hurts.

[InbetweenDreams]

I think most of us feel the same way at some point...

How long have you been talking to this guy and how have things progressed?

OCD and all that can be managed between your own will, medication and from professionals. While things like depression, anxiety, OCD are all very real problems there are things you can do to help besides medication. Our brains are very complex and literally by changing how you think by your own self observation can change how your brain is wired and you can literally learn to respond differently to things. That's just my general view and understanding of things, hope thing there is helpful. I've dealt with depression and anxiety and while I can't totally change who I am but I have made pretty good strides in dealing with some forms of my anxiety.

As far as finding a partner, it is difficult, it is not easy to try to mingle with people let alone find someone who you are comfortable with and is interested in things that you are. It works both ways, you have to find someone you like and they have to find someone they like. The truth is most guys are superficial and are boring. So this guy and his tendencies to be on some dating app might just mean either he's not fully invested in you yet or his character is a bit tarnished. I will be quite honest and say I do the same thing when I am talking to guys I do like, because often enough things change and either I end up seeing something I don't like or they find out something about me they don't like.

So after all he may feel the same way you do, worried that you might not like him that much and sometimes saying it just doesn't make it better. Again, I don't know how long you have been talking to this guy but who knows.

Sometimes I open up Grindr while I'm pooping just to scroll around. I mean it's that or I'm reading the ingredients of my deodorant...

[matty7]

well you know already know where your problem areas are so you have to find a way to work with them or work around them - can you get the opportunity to see a counsellor to talk through these issues either privately or through your own doctors surgery ? also try and focus on the positive sides to your personality - this guy sees something in you just by chatting so you do have things going for you so there is nothing set in stone that you will be alone buddy

[TigerLover]

Nonsense, even Adolph Hitler had a girlfriend. Are you worse than Hitler?
No didn't think so. mile:

Seriously though everyone is flawed in some way and people waiting for their "perfect guy" are just fools. You will find love someday.

Of course it's always a good idea to work on your flaws, for non-romantic reasons as well.
But even if you fail to manage them know that you are worth loving, you deserve to be loved and you will be loved.

[Camfer]

I am sure I will be alone for ever...

People are notoriously bad at these kinds of predictions. Don't be so sure. Fix what issues you can. Keep engaging with people. If you have a busy life with friends, it's hard to find the time to obsess over some guy. You really don't know what the future holds. When it works with a guy, it works pretty easily, at least at first. Good luck.

[nightingale93]

hi there,
i hope u are doing okay rn... regarding about your problem, i think if i was in your position, i think it's okay to have a strong affection...maybe cuz after a long wait for someone/ chance of love to happen in your life/ long distance relationship ...but, there's a limit too u knw...put yourself first and never let any hurtful feelings /unnecessary thoughts messing with your mind.

There's always someone or anyone who loves you and understands u more (family, siblings, friends, bff)... but, if not, at least u can do is be there for yourself.... it is okay to be alone, but never put yourself in a lonely place in your heart. Things gonna be okay. There's plenty of fish in the sea...if he is not the one, there's always someone better than him...may be out there, off from dating site...but if u love him so much, it's okay to give as much commitment on that..., i respect tht..good luck friend...