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LJay · 08-31-2016, 04:14 AM

Hope you are making the long drive home a vacation in itself, Beaux. Sounds like you would benefit from a day or two in a decompression chamber.

08-31-2016, 07:55 PM

knickerbuck Wrote:can i add in a bit of psychology in here? ..

girls are quite uncomfortable around gay guys for two reasons ..

1) they feel insecure around gay guys
2) they feel unsafe around gay guys

i have to comment that your sister-in-law is a girl and not a woman ..

I don't even know what that is supposed to mean. She is 56 years old. She has had multiple affairs with married men. She isn't a "girl".
Thanks though...
~Beaux

08-31-2016, 08:39 PM

I would have drop kicked her in the cunt and run like hell.

Actually I probably would have commented that I could see why she has no success with men.

InbetweenDreams · 08-31-2016, 08:44 PM

Beaux Wrote:I don't even know what that is supposed to mean. She is 56 years old. She has had multiple affairs with married men. She isn't a "girl".
Thanks though...
~Beaux

I think he's trying to say she is immature...

I think she is a crazy bird person...with mental issues.

CellarDweller · 09-01-2016, 02:33 AM

axle2152 Wrote:I think he's trying to say she is immature...

I think she is a crazy bird person...with mental issues.

that's putting it mildly.

InbetweenDreams · 09-01-2016, 02:45 AM

CellarDweller Wrote:that's putting it mildly.

How about...She's a fucking cunt?

09-01-2016, 06:24 AM

axle2152 Wrote:I think he's trying to say she is immature...

I think she is a crazy bird person...with mental issues.

Well, I just have to accept the facts. There is no longer any way I can deny it, I have married into a family of sociopaths. Sad

We got home last night at about 4 am, after a 15 hour drive, only to discover that my husband didnt pay the electricity... I was like, "I asked you before we left and you said you paid it!" His retort? "This is YOUR fault! You know I lie! You should have called the electric company company and made sure befor we left!" He is as insane as his sister (if not more)!

We have 2 deep freezers and a fridge that are full of rotten food, the house smells AWFUL, and one of my shakes died from the 115 degree temperatures (it is a miricle they all didn't die). Did he even offer an apology? No, of course not.

I seriously wish I had never moved here, much less married him. The electricity didn't even get turned back on until 4pm today, and he just laid on the couch and slept. He is completely unbothered by it and I am left to deal with it all, plus a dead per. I have just been crying on and off all day...

~Beaux

LJay · 09-01-2016, 07:48 AM

Beaux, if you are going to stick with him you just have to learn how to cope. You don't have to deal with his family. He does. Just build a silent fence where they are concerned. The only person in that family you need be concerned with is your husband. Until this latest flareup things seemed to be going OK. Try to get back there. There are reasons you are married to him. Think of them and look for the good.

There are lots of relationships where one partner is responsible and the other is not. I know. I am in one. It is platonic. It is burdensome and it is no fun, but I am slowly learning to cope after years of it. On the good side, he is ever so slowly learning social skills and how to relate to others. He doesn't lie much anymore and once in a while he laughs. That is music. And we are friends. That means a lot to me.

Hang in there. PM me if you think it will help to talk. I'm around here a lot.

InbetweenDreams · 09-01-2016, 11:51 AM

I think there was a discussion to leave him and the issues surrounding that. I mean my thoughts are that you should leave him but don't know if there's a way to do that without a lot of other drama...

Is there a way to have an exit plan? I mean I'm pretty sure he's not going to change... Is it bad with him all the time?

09-01-2016, 01:08 PM

Hey Beaux.

For better or worse does not mean having to sacrifice yourself and your own happiness and peace of mind while a partner runs roughshod.

Although noble, it can often only result in enabling them to treat you and others with utter disregard and the festering of resentment.

The fact is, your husband should have been the one to tell his own sister to shut the fuck up. The fact that he didn't doesn't look good on him.

We understand that he has significant mental health issues and that you feel bound to support him.

But you maybe need to hand him a list of simple rules to keep in his wallet or near him at all times about boundaries. And get him to do one for you as well. 5 or 6 basic rules about things like trust and lying, meeting responsibilities, being expected to participate 100% in preservation of his own mental health...and anything else that might help ground him.

And at some point, there have to be consequences.....there has to be a way that you can separate yourself from all of his issues in order to reserve your own health and happiness. Maybe this means looking at how you build an emotional and functional life away from him. It doesn't have to mean that you physically leave your home, but maybe you need to change the rules around your partnership if only to make it clear that you are not going to be dragged down by him or his family.