Real daddies (with children)

[Aquarius]

Not meaning the "daddy" term as "older gay man".. but real daddies, i.e. men with children, no matter what age...

am I the only one who finds it impossible to be attracted to a man with one or more children?

When I see a guy on tumblr or instagram who I like, as soon as I see he has a child, I am not interested anymore and decide not to follow. Gay pornstars, who I actually find hot, but know have children, don't turn me on anymore either.

Even in my fantasy, imagining I'd meet a hot gay or bi guy and we like each other, as soon as I imagine he has a child, it would be a complete turn off, and I'd completely build up a wall and turn around.

Is this normal? I always thought it is, because I thought it's biologically normal to find men with children less attractive (instinctively), but today I heard from a gay friend who has absolutely no issues with guys having children.

I just think a child would always be more important than me, and thus the relationship wouldn't be equal, like I wouldn't be as important to him as he would be for me.

Is my way of thinking normal or is it weird?

[Emiliano]

Right now, at this point in my life, I wouldn't want to get involved with a man who had kids. But when I'm older and ready for a stable serious relationship, I could be into it. I know that I want a family when I'm older, and at least as of now, it doesn't feel important to me that I'm genetically related to the kid.

[knickerbuck]

as long as he's hot, he's got a dick, and/or wants attention from the gay community and/or is gay, he's mine

[TigerLover]

Interesting, you're saying that if your man had kids you'd feel like a third-wheel in your own relationship?

[InbetweenDreams]

I mean I wouldn't want to just jump into a relationship with someone, guy or girl, who had kids.... I am in no position financially for one and secondly with the way people have done me I wouldn't put past someone to try to use you... On the other hand, I think settling down and having kids is something I would want.

I think I have said in an older post that I think it is harder for gay couples to adopt kids... just sounds like a nightmare and I can only imagine what hell it would be in North Carolina... One of the notches in the bible belt. Plus you have to think about if that kids goes to school it is only a matter of time before some kid bullies you kid because they have two dads... I expect nothing LESS than that shit for this area... I would have to move in order to raise kids...

[bryyzy]

I dont think I ever want kids so jumping in bed with someone who has kids makes no sense to me. I am happy being with someone and my genetic line ending with me is no big deal.

[Aquarius]

Interesting, you're saying that if your man had kids you'd feel like a third-wheel in your own relationship?

Yep. That's exactly what I mean.
I wouldn't be against adopting a child, or a potential husband's child, that's not the thing.
I just think the ties that he has to his biological child will always be stronger than his ties to me.

Maybe I think that way because my parents hate each other (despite not having left each other) but both of them love me.

But still, even when I find a guy in hot photos, or even worse: porn, I don't get it why he's doing that when he has a child.. and I just can't find him hot anymore once I know he's a father... but again: maybe that's due to my personal difficult relationship to my own dad.

Finding fathers sexy... I just can't.

[supasyd]

It doesn't bother me but I am fucked up and people might not trust me around kids because I am weird and have a big forehead that makes me look like a predator, so I suppose there are always adjustment issues

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=23142]Aquarius[/MENTION] That makes a lot of sense and parallels to how I feel about kids, or getting into a relationship with someone who has kids...

Not to divert from the subject. I was recently talking to a guy on FB, cute, had a lot of things in common, we both are into photography... but, he's in the middle of a divorce, has two kids and never dated or slept with a guy. It's not the kids in this case that would bother me but rather I felt like he would be uncertain about his choices and sexuality. There's a little more to it than that, distance was one of them, but in the end I felt like I would be barking up the wrong tree. I feel that I have to take a different tune when kids are involved. I feel that way because my parents nearly got divorced when I was 6 and it can be hell for a kid. I don't feel good about partaking in potentially screwing up a kid's childhood.

Kids don't make a guy any less attractive. The one thing that will make me think someone is less attractive or unattractive is if they're an asshole or do something horrible. There have been a few of those, or guys just being pigs. Personality is a key factor, you can have the nicest body in the world, be a dick to a waitress on the first date -- bye Felicia! The thing about kids for me though is that it does make me more reluctant to get involved more deeply with someone. It's hard enough to find someone remotely compatible and seeing how odds play out with guys in general, having kids into the mix makes it more complicated because it is no longer about him.

Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong with how you feel about kids. Sounds like you want to do it on your own terms and that's fine, I would prefer to have or adopt my own kids when I feel the time is right...and for the way that's going probably never happen.

[InbetweenDreams]

It doesn't bother me but I am fucked up and people might not trust me around kids because I am weird and have a big forehead that makes me look like a predator, so I suppose there are always adjustment issues

Big forehead? Dude you're a very handsome guy! Your forehead is not big or abnormal if you ask me...that or everyone I have seen in my lifetime has a big forehead.

I would also bet that you're not anymore fucked up than any other person. So don't knock yourself...