Money is the Anthem of success...

[JohnMusic]

The person who introduced me to my bf became succsessful or the ceo of some company and then committed suicide with a shotgun and did not leave a note. His brother is around 45, lives in a liberal area, and wont come out of the closet because his church friends would not approve.

and hello .

[larafan25]

I find it odd...

Yeah... I guess. You need money.

And for those of you who need that money, there's surely more you need, in order to get that money.

And so, why is it specifically the money you mention?

I'm 30, single, living with parents...

[InbetweenDreams]

I find it odd...

Yeah... I guess. You need money.

And for those of you who need that money, there's surely more you need, in order to get that money.

And so, why is it specifically the money you mention?

I suppose 30 is a psychological milestone. To be honest it doesn't matter that much. Just that a lot of people are becoming more judgmental about it. However, it is very expensive to live by yourself, most people have roommates, bf's or whatever. Me, I'm not very trusting.... I've honestly been waiting for Mr. Right to come along before I entertain the idea of moving in with someone. However, I suppose I am going to have to quit spending my money on frivolous things and just get my own place because the odds of me meeting the right guy any time soon seems to me unfavorable.

My real problem is spending. I could easily afford a place if I didn't have credit card debt. Last year I decided I could afford a muscle car, and well I did, I just had zero money after all the bills were paid. I did finally trade it in for a car much less expensive which has helped but I've since gone on and racked up a lot of debt. I'm an impulse buyer and often feel good when I buy stuff. So when I feel bad sometimes shopping for stuff makes me feel good. I suppose it helps make up for things out of balance lets just say.

I suppose that is also why the thought of lighting up a cigarette seemed, for a moment, appealing.

I know I'm not some low life bottom feeder, I have accomplished some things but at times doesn't really feel like it. I certainly could have if I never went out after what I wanted or went to school at all.

So I think not that money is the room of all evil, it can be if you let it, but it can be the root of all despair.

The car didn't make me happy. Actually even with it being brand new the damn thing blew up the same day I bought it.... I guess if there were ever a sign, a brand new sports car blowing up when you buy it would be it. I think it was more the anticipation and the thrill of it, lasted for a while but it wears off. Same thing with the theater system.

Many parallels to the video [MENTION=1766]princealbertofb[/MENTION] posted. I find the things that do have a lasting effect are the things I can do with my friends, the few I do have and can hang out with on a semi-regular basis, sort of. People live far away out here...it's a 40 minute drive for me to go hang out with a couple I'm friends with, another lives 45 minutes away the other direction. So it is hard to say hey let's go have a beer. That and seldom does anyone come visit me, I'm always the one doing the visiting, doesn't matter who. I also often on dates end up paying...though not always, of course it depends on who but most guys I guess want to be wined and dined and then say you're not good enough for them.

So there it is, my goddamned life on display and the majority of the personal problems I have. I suppose it really isn't the money, it is about happiness and when things are out of balance you'll go swipe plastic to be happy for a moment. I don't even know where to begin, I'm pretty much at the point of getting a consolidation loan and cutting up the cards, I think that will be the only way out in the foreseeable future. The rest of my problems...I don't know I guess go on happy pills? I don't think anything is going to change anytime soon.

[knickerbuck]

i hate that i have to need money ...

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=23556]knickerbuck[/MENTION] Me too...

[princealbertofb]

Well my thing is that I don't feel like I am where I ought to be. I'm 30, single, living with parents... Now I am wanting to go back to school. I feel like I might be a little too late, but maybe not. I feel like I am perhaps further away from being happy.

I do at times feel like I am a little out of touch with myself, seems to have happened after working so long and you don't get the time to really sit down in reflect and see and realize that more than 1/3 of my life has passed on... I pissed away about 10 years roughly not gaining much ground...smoking pot. I did finally get through college and got a degree but that's about all I have to show for it. Nothing else has changed. It is almost like I'm waiting on something but I know that I'm really waiting on myself.

You don't "know" that 1/3 of your life has gone, maybe it was 1/4, maybe it's already 1/2 :eek: You should try not to dwell on the time you deem was wasted. You did what you did, now get on with the next part of your life, make it better for yourself. Take those bold decisions. I assure you, you won't be half as critical if you make good of it in your ''twilight'' @[URL="https://gayspeak.com/member.php?u=23180"]axle2152 , (jk). :biggrin:
[/URL]

[InbetweenDreams]

Well I think that I think too much. Hindsight is always 20/20 so looking back there's always things to pick at and even worse then you're just down in the dumps. I used to get upset about things I can't even remember what I was upset about, of course now that I'm getting a little older I am upset that I didn't think ahead more and all the things my grandfather preached to me about before he passed away almost 16 years ago now I wished I had let that sink in.

I just hate that it will probably take another 3 years to pay off the credit card debt and probably another 3-4 years of going back to school and maybe I will get a degree and a better paying job. I like what I do just need to make more money doing it. Although the more I think about it I think it might be a good idea to find something where I am a little more active. I know that I'm getting a bit off topic here but I think the subject hits on a lot of things. I think spending a lot of my time behind a desk might not be the right thing for me although I am good at what I do but there's not a whole lot of time during the workday for me to really get out. Technically I should be taking a break but I think that it partly my own fault.

[larafan25]

I suppose 30 is a psychological milestone. To be honest it doesn't matter that much. Just that a lot of people are becoming more judgmental about it. However, it is very expensive to live by yourself, most people have roommates, bf's or whatever. Me, I'm not very trusting.... I've honestly been waiting for Mr. Right to come along before I entertain the idea of moving in with someone. However, I suppose I am going to have to quit spending my money on frivolous things and just get my own place because the odds of me meeting the right guy any time soon seems to me unfavorable.

My real problem is spending. I could easily afford a place if I didn't have credit card debt. Last year I decided I could afford a muscle car, and well I did, I just had zero money after all the bills were paid. I did finally trade it in for a car much less expensive which has helped but I've since gone on and racked up a lot of debt. I'm an impulse buyer and often feel good when I buy stuff. So when I feel bad sometimes shopping for stuff makes me feel good. I suppose it helps make up for things out of balance lets just say.

I suppose that is also why the thought of lighting up a cigarette seemed, for a moment, appealing.

I know I'm not some low life bottom feeder, I have accomplished some things but at times doesn't really feel like it. I certainly could have if I never went out after what I wanted or went to school at all.

So I think not that money is the room of all evil, it can be if you let it, but it can be the root of all despair.

The car didn't make me happy. Actually even with it being brand new the damn thing blew up the same day I bought it.... I guess if there were ever a sign, a brand new sports car blowing up when you buy it would be it. I think it was more the anticipation and the thrill of it, lasted for a while but it wears off. Same thing with the theater system.

Many parallels to the video [MENTION=1766]princealbertofb[/MENTION] posted. I find the things that do have a lasting effect are the things I can do with my friends, the few I do have and can hang out with on a semi-regular basis, sort of. People live far away out here...it's a 40 minute drive for me to go hang out with a couple I'm friends with, another lives 45 minutes away the other direction. So it is hard to say hey let's go have a beer. That and seldom does anyone come visit me, I'm always the one doing the visiting, doesn't matter who. I also often on dates end up paying...though not always, of course it depends on who but most guys I guess want to be wined and dined and then say you're not good enough for them.

So there it is, my goddamned life on display and the majority of the personal problems I have. I suppose it really isn't the money, it is about happiness and when things are out of balance you'll go swipe plastic to be happy for a moment. I don't even know where to begin, I'm pretty much at the point of getting a consolidation loan and cutting up the cards, I think that will be the only way out in the foreseeable future. The rest of my problems...I don't know I guess go on happy pills? I don't think anything is going to change anytime soon.

Yes, there are people who are judgmental about those who still live with their parents at 30. There are also people who are judgmental about those who are gay, or black, or dye their hair, or have tattoos. You already know what it's like to not give a shit about what other people think, and that is important. Now it's just your own judgement of yourself that can be toned down.

It's really what you want that matters, and it's possible that you want to move out and have a good job. But banging up on yourself about it not happening probably doesn't help much either.

Contemplate the difference between the shopping as a means of happiness, and having the job + home as a means of happiness. In our world, one has been defined by the majority as negative, and the other positive. While both are really the same, seeking outside factors or conditions to serve happiness. Which can be a neat game, but best played when you understand that without it all, you can still stimulate your own happiness. You really can. But it requires a little mental "effort".

A lot of people accept that we live in a world where hard work and effort is of most value, whether they like it or not. Yet when it comes to working out their minds and emotions for the sake of a potentially greater sense of happiness, they give up.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well all I can say is that I think I need to change some of the things I am doing and stick to it. I brought up my car situation a few times. I do think I made the right choice in getting rid of the car but even then I still will have a car payment for some time. Then this credit card stuff... I really ought to cut up the cards tonight (but can't....not yet anyway). I think it is definitely in my best interest to consolidate them and try to pay down the balances and not go back. Maybe be able to save up some money and hopefully by then I will have some money saved up so I can move on out. From there, who knows.

I am probably too hard on myself on things, I do think that a lot of people do stay with family a lot longer than they used to. PLus my mom has been sick, well pretty much all my life, and my dad definitely needs a break from all that. They don't get out and do things much either, so having an few evenings with a bonfire and beer helps him unwind...and myself too. My mother doesn't get out much now especially since she broke her foot a while back....so part of me has also felt bad about leaving her behind because she's not able to drive or do anything, so I suppose from her point of view it is nice to have me around since my dad can be a bit of a hardass at times....means well but hard to deal with at times. Anyway, probably a little too much into my life but I suppose it doesn't matter. Not like I'm running for political office...

It is hard to love yourself, at least it has been for me and that is often the first bit of advice you get. I wish I could snap my fingers, knew for sure what really will make me a happy person and be able to love myself and have the confidence I need. I hate that I always second guess myself too, even though with things i have been able to pull through and succeed at.

I suppose it is all part of the journey...

[Shawn]

Well my thing is that I don't feel like I am where I ought to be. I'm 30, single, living with parents... Now I am wanting to go back to school. I feel like I might be a little too late, but maybe not. I feel like I am perhaps further away from being happy.

I do at times feel like I am a little out of touch with myself, seems to have happened after working so long and you don't get the time to really sit down in reflect and see and realize that more than 1/3 of my life has passed on... I pissed away about 10 years roughly not gaining much ground...smoking pot. I did finally get through college and got a degree but that's about all I have to show for it. Nothing else has changed. It is almost like I'm waiting on something but I know that I'm really waiting on myself.

Most the people of my uni was in the 25-35, don't know if its normal in the US, but here's our daily bread haha. btw, if you don't try anything you will not know nothing.

I know that sensation, I was like that since I realized that anybody at my age will take the reins from my life than my own self.

You have two options, to upgrade what you have, or try to find something else... and I'm talking about your degree.

I'm still living with parents too, but I took that as an advantage... I said I didn't spend more than 10% of my monthly salary, but obviously that would be not possible by living alone, I had comprehensive parents that didn't forced me to pay anything, because I was very clear with them about what I wanted to use my money... so the point is you have to take advantage of what you have, if you have a good charisma, use it. if it's good looking, use it too, if you have an smart mind, explote it!. the worst thing you can do is limiting yourself, and I learned that the hard way.

If you have a college degree, try to find the highest paid job judging by the skills you are supposed to have. (an example).

random comment: pot doesn't do any effect on me, and I'm talking literally, I think it can't cross my Blood–brain barrier, or maybe I can't metabolize it