A shaggy dog story
Sagittarius
10-28-2016, 10:31 PM
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees £10 and a note in his mouth, reading, "8 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth and quickly closes the shop.
He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways and trot across the road to a bus-stop.
The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench.
When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front, looks at the number, then boards the bus.
The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery..
After a while he stands on his back paws, pushes the "stop" bell and gets off. The butcher follows.
The dog runs up to a house, drops his bag on the steps and barks repeatedly. No answer.
He goes back down the path, takes a big run and throws himself, â€Ã‚˜whapâ€Ã‚™, against the door. He does this over and over. No answer.
So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, barks repeatedly at a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door.
Eventually, a small guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog.
The butcher runs up screaming at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? Stop screaming at the dog....heâ€Ã‚™s a !@#$%ing genius!"
The owner responds, "Genius, my arse. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth and quickly closes the shop.
He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways and trot across the road to a bus-stop.
The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench.
When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front, looks at the number, then boards the bus.
The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery..
After a while he stands on his back paws, pushes the "stop" bell and gets off. The butcher follows.
The dog runs up to a house, drops his bag on the steps and barks repeatedly. No answer.
He goes back down the path, takes a big run and throws himself, â€Ã‚˜whapâ€Ã‚™, against the door. He does this over and over. No answer.
So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, barks repeatedly at a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door.
Eventually, a small guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog.
The butcher runs up screaming at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? Stop screaming at the dog....heâ€Ã‚™s a !@#$%ing genius!"
The owner responds, "Genius, my arse. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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