Self-Help Books

[chiaroscuru]

Hi all,

I'm bi, married, and struggling with internalized homophobia. I don't care if other people are gay or bi, but I hate myself because I am.

Does anyone have any advice or self-help books they can refer me to? I was seeing a therapist for help, but she started saying stuff like I shouldn't see her anymore unless I wanted to bring my wife with to therapy. My wife knows I'm attracted to guys too, and I don't like to talk about this with her. I love my wife, but am more attracted to men.

Are there any wierdos out there like me who might have some advice? I have two young children, also.

Thanks,

M

[LJay]

You could start with the Gay Therapy Blog listed below.

Ask anything you want here. Lots of guys willing to help.

And there are OTHER therapists you could seek out.

Remember that your first 50 posts will be randomly monitored. Play word games to get past this quickly.

[MHJG]

You've gotta accept who you're, or else self-denial gives you stress.

I, of course, don't have homophobia but haemophobia. I guess it's quite similar as I do hate it like you hate being bi. I wanted to be a doctor since I was very young. I kept trying and trying facing blood. I got very upset every time I lost my consciousness seeing blood coming from the skin of mine or someone else's. I even pass out if I watch some bloody movie scene. It felt awful! I laughed at myself, and I was sad because nothing I can do to overcome it.

Later I changed my way to think. I just accept that I can't abide blood. There are still many fields related to medicine. I develop other interests and don't think about my haemophobia anymore except I witness a sudden blood scene, and I freak out. lol

Fighting down a phobia is extremely hard. You can do that as everything is possible. I've heard a medicine student overcame the haemophobia. But to me, I suggest you should put it out of your mind. Whether you hate it or not, you've married to someone you love and have two kids. This is a dream to many people out there. Why not just keep focusing and take care of them.

I love my wife, but am more attracted to men.

I'm confused about that. Are you worried that you will cheat on your wife with other men?

[matty7]

Hating yourself for who you are is just going to eat you up and have a good chance of making you ill , As your wife knows your already attracted to men then you could talk to her if your feelings are getting stronger , I'd say she needs to be involved somehow even if this is extremely hard on you both - having support will lessen the burden and maybe help get to a solution.. Why don't you want your wife to go to therapy with you ? as you love her this may be a way to bring you closer together , that must be a possibility or your therapist wouldn't suggest it - You have kids together so for their sakes maybe you have to do some very hard things like the couples therapy - Im sure some wiser men will come on here with some great advice though - good luck

[TigerLover]

Hi all,

wierdos

You're not a weirdo buddy you're just bisexual.

You openly admit that you do not judge others for being gay or Bi and yet you judge yourself brutally for it.

You should use cognitive behavioural therapy to correct the logical flaws in your thinking. If you have the money to hire a shrink then you can easily afford some CBT councilling. Try that and if it works you won't have to involve your wife at all.

Or you can try it at home by ordering a CBT guidebook online. But it's a lot easier with help and professional tools.