Panti says it like it is.

[Justaguy]

The video is certainly an eye opener, and very relatable to the struggles of LGBT people. PDA's, even something like holding hands, is still something I am wary of. Until I met [MENTION=23766]Justaguy[/MENTION], I hadn't even kissed a guy in public (or at least not in view of anyone else), and none of the previous guys I've dated were keen on doing that either, but I am gradually feeling a little more at ease doing that. Perhaps I am gradually caring less. He seems to me to be more comfortable displaying affection in public or care a bit less, and I admire him for that . I think it's what we'd all hope for as time progresses. Thanks for sharing the video [MENTION=1766]princealbertofb[/MENTION], what an inspirational man Panti is.

I don't claim to be the most confident person, or even the most comfortable with being gay at times, and I'm very lucky that I'm young and, unlike Panti, I haven't had to live in a time where homophobia to PDA's was perhaps much more common in my country. I remember the first time I went to just hold [MENTION=22727]Cridders88[/MENTION] 's hand in public, I was sweating and panicking, but not because I was even thinking about what anyone else thought, only about what he thought and how he felt about me doing it. And I suppose that is why I seem to care less what others think, because in those moments all I can think of is him I think what Panti says about PDA's is right, they shouldn't become a political statement and should be less about taking a stand, and more about what they actually are: affection between two people.

[Zen]

I think this has raised some interesting points. Don't think I can add much to the mix though.

Came across this interesting TED talk a while ago. It raises some interesting issues on being visible. I relate it to Panti in the sense that people have raised the idea of what is 'representative' of being gay. This lad raises some very good points on trying not to blend in as a kind of debt being paid to previous generations.

Nice to hear about Cridders and Just a guy! Great to hear Just a guy feeling that times have, largely, changed :-)

[Emiliano]

I think this has raised some interesting points. Don't think I can add much to the mix though.

Came across this interesting TED talk a while ago. It raises some interesting issues on being visible. I relate it to Panti in the sense that people have raised the idea of what is 'representative' of being gay. This lad raises some very good points on trying not to blend in as a kind of debt being paid to previous generations.

Nice to hear about Cridders and Just a guy! Great to hear Just a guy feeling that times have, largely, changed :-)

Thanks for sharing that. I agree with his points and perspective too.

[princealbertofb]

Truly a beautiful speech, I'm definitely gonna share this one...yet I wish he could take off the drag queen persona and speak as the "normal", unremarkable man he claims he is. While it's true that "gay=anal sex" is a very common misconception, there are many other stereotypes: for example, they assume we're good at "helping with the decorations" (among other things), and he said we are, even if it was just a joke. Some people can't even tell the difference between gay and transvestite, and it doesn't help that he was dressed up and acted like a middle aged woman. People will never think we're like them if we constantly remind them that we are so totally different.

I'm thinking maybe Panti is very very shy as a man and probably finds his courage in being in drag. I can think of many a person whose shyness is a barrier to their own self expression. Give him credit at least for that. But I hear you...

[princealbertofb]

I guess I'm really not up on my gs gossip. I didn't know you two were kissing in public together.

They keep it discreet, even on GaySpeak. I am glad that those two have found one another. Kudos to you [MENTION=22727]Cridders88[/MENTION] and [MENTION=23766]Justaguy[/MENTION]

[princealbertofb]

I don't claim to be the most confident person, or even the most comfortable with being gay at times, and I'm very lucky that I'm young and, unlike Panti, I haven't had to live in a time where homophobia to PDA's was perhaps much more common in my country. I remember the first time I went to just hold [MENTION=22727]Cridders88[/MENTION] 's hand in public, I was sweating and panicking, but not because I was even thinking about what anyone else thought, only about what he thought and how he felt about me doing it. And I suppose that is why I seem to care less what others think, because in those moments all I can think of is him I think what Panti says about PDA's is right, they shouldn't become a political statement and should be less about taking a stand, and more about what they actually are: affection between two people.

Absolutely agree. My partner, [MENTION=20050]marshlander[/MENTION] , has written a song precisely about the difficulties of simply 'being' whether it's demonstrating some light form of affection in public, or whether it's something more formal. We make a point of having a quick kiss at the airport but do indulge in a hug, which seems somehow more acceptable and more manly. His song is called Never Say Never', but I wish he would record it and then we could share it (them, all of his songs that relate to being gay, and there's quite a few!!) His points are precisely the ones Panti makes and then some. the songs are about internalised shame, homophobia, sorrow, discomfort, but also about joy and enlightenment.

[princealbertofb]

I don't have a problem with him being a drag queen, if that's what you mean. He's awesome, actually.
I just think calling yourself a gay man while dressed like Marilyn Monroe might give someone the wrong idea. You should prove stereotypes wrong, not embrace them, at least not when you're trying to explain that you're just a man like the others and you don't want to stand out.

I think there are many layers to what he says and how he's chosen to say it. Would it be possible to view him/her as a 'person', one who doesn't even have any veritable gender and who can therefore transmit a message that is not based on gender perceptions or even gender roles?