The shoe's on the other foot
Sagittarius
04-05-2017, 08:42 AM
[SIZE="3"]
Most blond jokes are about women, but who said men can't be blond too? Here are 3 killer jokes I found that put the shoe on the other foot, proving that it's not about gender, or about being blond, it's just about making funny jokes!
1) There was an Irishman, a Mexican, and a blond guy who worked construction together. They were working on top of a building one day, and it was lunch time. The Irish man opens his lunch pail and he sees he has cabbage and beef, and he says, "If I get one more beef and cabbage for lunch I'm gonna jump off of this building!"
Then the Mexican opens his lunch pail and he gets a burrito, he says, 'if I get one more burrito for lunch I'm gonna jump off this building!'
The blond man opens his lunch pail and gets a bologna sandwich. He says, 'if I get one more bologna sandwich I'm gonna jump off of this building!'
The next day the Irish man opens his lunch pail and finds cabbage and beef so he jumps off the building to his death.
Then the Mexican opens hid lunch pail and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building to his death.
Then the blond guy opens his lunch pail and finds a bologna sandwich, so he jumps off to his death as well.
The next day at their funeral the Irish man's wife said, "If I only knew he was sick of cabbage and beef I would have packed him something else." Then the Mexican's wife then said, ''If I only knew he didn't like burritos, I would have packed something else.''
Finally, the blond man's wife said, "I don't know what his problem was! He packed his own lunch!''
2) A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What happened?!?" he says in panic. "I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.ç
"You rotten bastard," says the husband. "My wife is having a heart attack and you're running around naked and scaring the kids!!!"
3) A blind guy sits down at a bar and shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blond joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 pounds and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blond. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."[/SIZE]
Most blond jokes are about women, but who said men can't be blond too? Here are 3 killer jokes I found that put the shoe on the other foot, proving that it's not about gender, or about being blond, it's just about making funny jokes!
1) There was an Irishman, a Mexican, and a blond guy who worked construction together. They were working on top of a building one day, and it was lunch time. The Irish man opens his lunch pail and he sees he has cabbage and beef, and he says, "If I get one more beef and cabbage for lunch I'm gonna jump off of this building!"
Then the Mexican opens his lunch pail and he gets a burrito, he says, 'if I get one more burrito for lunch I'm gonna jump off this building!'
The blond man opens his lunch pail and gets a bologna sandwich. He says, 'if I get one more bologna sandwich I'm gonna jump off of this building!'
The next day the Irish man opens his lunch pail and finds cabbage and beef so he jumps off the building to his death.
Then the Mexican opens hid lunch pail and finds a burrito so he jumps off the building to his death.
Then the blond guy opens his lunch pail and finds a bologna sandwich, so he jumps off to his death as well.
The next day at their funeral the Irish man's wife said, "If I only knew he was sick of cabbage and beef I would have packed him something else." Then the Mexican's wife then said, ''If I only knew he didn't like burritos, I would have packed something else.''
Finally, the blond man's wife said, "I don't know what his problem was! He packed his own lunch!''
2) A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What happened?!?" he says in panic. "I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.ç
"You rotten bastard," says the husband. "My wife is having a heart attack and you're running around naked and scaring the kids!!!"
3) A blind guy sits down at a bar and shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blond joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 pounds and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blond. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."[/SIZE]
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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