Hypochondria

[abcd1234]

Sometimes when things are going negatively in my life I have a tendency towards hypochondria. The reason I know this is because an old therapist of mine said that everytime I'm unhappy about something I focus on my body.Makes sense.I panicked with the Aids crisis in the 80s thinking every weird feeling in my body was a symptom. I feared practically every disease imaginable at one time or another. Every lump, pain or tingling in my body meant a serious disease. I'm also a 9/11 survivor so I have PTSD. Recently these fears have flared up again especially with my friend getting mad at me for not attending her mom's funeral. I told you guys about her a month or so ago.I'm getting to the point where I could almost hate this bitch for her overkill. Then a year and a half ago my other friend cut me off for complaining that he was late picking me up.Remember him? Also 3 years ago losing my mom completely devastated me because she was my best friend.I'm finding it hard to meet a boyfriend even though I tried a few ways to do it like Match.com and just being out there.I feel I have no true love in my life.I have friends but it's not the same.I feel that every ache or pain in my body must be a sign of something bad.It doesn't help that my cousin who is my age has just been diagnosed with cancer.

The TV constantly has commercials about cancer and it's sickening overkill.I mute the TV whenever one of those ads come on. I don't smoke, drink once in a great while,stay slim,do tons of walking and try to eat healthy. My biggest thing that I dread is that the day could be going along ok and then I'll feel a twinge or pain and start to panic. I try to tell myself that if I was really sick I wouldn't be able to perform my everyday activities.I constantly think about how nice the past was and how I wish I could turn the clock back.I take Xanax once in awhile when it gets really bad but sometimes I think people treat me badly like that woman and it's overdone. What do you guys think.I could really use the support.

[deephiance]

I feel I have no true love in my life.

YOU, until you love yourself, no one else can

[Zen]

Anxiety comes in many forms, you mentioned PTSD which is probably the most extreme of the anxiety disorders, others such as health anxiety (hypochondria) and generalised (worrying) can be very debilitating too.

It sounds Freudian the way you describe the other situations in your life but you are able to distract by focusing on the body- an equally negative symptom.

It sounds as though you need professional help. Do you have any affordable psychological provision where you live. It might be that a course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) could help. CBT will help unravel how you feel, think, and behave, and give you coping tools - eg feeling (pain/twinge/etc) thinking (oh my god im having a heart attack/have cancer) behaviour (checking body for symptoms/ googling symptoms). These symptoms feed off of each other and CBT will break these. There is of course counselling for the negative life events- but this wouldn't help with an anxiety disorder specifically.

Disclaimer: This is friendly not professional advice, please seek professional support and further advice.

Be lucky x

[MHJG]

Yesterday I just brought a book called Rewire Your Anxious Brain : How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic and Worry. Still waiting the delivery. I guess you can go and search some books about it. They always shed light on and teach you how to cope with the problem. You may even do that by yourself. Professional support is important if the problem becomes worse.

Or after I read the book, see there is somethimg or idea I can share with you haha... I think positive thinking is always useful. Cheer up mile:

[abcd1234]

Thanks for your responses.I have to go after what I want and not let stupid people's behavior get to me. I have to have fun and maybe I won't be obsessive about illness fears.