04-15-2017, 03:20 AM
Hi there,
I've joined the site only with the intention to create this post, so i'm hoping to get opinions from other people as my head is spinning and i feel like i'm going crazy. I'd appreciate anyone taking the time to read my post:
I've been in a monogamous relationship with my partner for around a year (started in April 2016). We are 14 years apart, me being younger (24). We had discussed that our relationship was to be monogamous and not open.
Towards the end of 2016, i noticed my partner started acting different towards me; he had lost his job and started a new job, which he hated. Our sex life was pretty much non-existent even though i tried to keep things intimate. I put it down to the fact that he was upset, possibly in a situation where he felt lost. He was not mean to me or abusive, i just felt distance between us.
We talked about the situation and how i felt a few times, and he assured me his difference was not to do with me, rather, just life in general. Being the person that i am, i accepted his advice because at the end of the day, it's his life and people deal with things in certain ways. I also laid off trying to be intimate until he was ready. I was their for support, but gave him his space.
However, in January this year, I received an anonymous message over Instagram from a clearly fake profile, advising me that my partner has been sending nude pictures to other guys. I bought this up to my partner and he denied it, claiming it would probably be his crazy ex trying to ruin our relationship. I believed him, but at the back of my mind, i had my doubts.
I started noticing little things, like that my partner was very protective of his phone; he would always put it away quickly when i ever i came over, or even when we had friends over he would not let them touch his phone. I found this weird. I also noticed that even though we weren't having any intimacy, he would be on tumblr quite often, re-blogging gay porn (i followed his tumblr page and allowed for notifications). I couldn't understand that if he really didn't have a sex drive why he would be watching porn.
My partner has been away for a few days and i was searching movies on my partners hard-drive; i happened to stumble across a picture, to which my curiosity was intrigued, so i clicked further. What came up, was all of his backed iPhone drives including pictures and videos. I found multiple pictures and videos of himself masturbating, which he had never sent to me. Believing that it was all taken before we were together, i checked the time stamps, and they were all towards the end of 2016. Also, in sync with his own photos/videos time stamps, there were other guys penis pictures and videos, which to me, seemed as if they have been sending these back and forth to each other. Mind you, two of the guys i saw had added me on Facebook recently, which is really messed up. I tried to deny in my mind that he would do this to me, but other photos that were of us and events we attended, all had the correct time stamps. Now i also wonder the things that were said between the pictures and videos, you don't just send that stuff to another person without talking dirty !
The reason I only investigated further when i saw the picture, is because of a gut feeling i had in my stomach, you know when you just don't feel 'quite right', or that something feels 'out of place'? Now, since i found these pictures and videos, i feel like everything is now pieced together.
I now don't know how to bring this up to him, because i went through his folders which is a clear invasion of his privacy. But then i think, well if i didn't feel the way i did, i would of had no reason to snoop. Although, I do feel heart broken and betrayed, considering he really didn't seem like the kind of guy who would do this. The fact he lied when he said he had not been sending guys any pictures, just makes feel like i can never trust him again.
I love him and wan't to be with him, and i wan't to hear his reasons as to why he did this.
What do you think? Should I hear him out or break up? How should i approach this when he returns?
I've joined the site only with the intention to create this post, so i'm hoping to get opinions from other people as my head is spinning and i feel like i'm going crazy. I'd appreciate anyone taking the time to read my post:
I've been in a monogamous relationship with my partner for around a year (started in April 2016). We are 14 years apart, me being younger (24). We had discussed that our relationship was to be monogamous and not open.
Towards the end of 2016, i noticed my partner started acting different towards me; he had lost his job and started a new job, which he hated. Our sex life was pretty much non-existent even though i tried to keep things intimate. I put it down to the fact that he was upset, possibly in a situation where he felt lost. He was not mean to me or abusive, i just felt distance between us.
We talked about the situation and how i felt a few times, and he assured me his difference was not to do with me, rather, just life in general. Being the person that i am, i accepted his advice because at the end of the day, it's his life and people deal with things in certain ways. I also laid off trying to be intimate until he was ready. I was their for support, but gave him his space.
However, in January this year, I received an anonymous message over Instagram from a clearly fake profile, advising me that my partner has been sending nude pictures to other guys. I bought this up to my partner and he denied it, claiming it would probably be his crazy ex trying to ruin our relationship. I believed him, but at the back of my mind, i had my doubts.
I started noticing little things, like that my partner was very protective of his phone; he would always put it away quickly when i ever i came over, or even when we had friends over he would not let them touch his phone. I found this weird. I also noticed that even though we weren't having any intimacy, he would be on tumblr quite often, re-blogging gay porn (i followed his tumblr page and allowed for notifications). I couldn't understand that if he really didn't have a sex drive why he would be watching porn.
My partner has been away for a few days and i was searching movies on my partners hard-drive; i happened to stumble across a picture, to which my curiosity was intrigued, so i clicked further. What came up, was all of his backed iPhone drives including pictures and videos. I found multiple pictures and videos of himself masturbating, which he had never sent to me. Believing that it was all taken before we were together, i checked the time stamps, and they were all towards the end of 2016. Also, in sync with his own photos/videos time stamps, there were other guys penis pictures and videos, which to me, seemed as if they have been sending these back and forth to each other. Mind you, two of the guys i saw had added me on Facebook recently, which is really messed up. I tried to deny in my mind that he would do this to me, but other photos that were of us and events we attended, all had the correct time stamps. Now i also wonder the things that were said between the pictures and videos, you don't just send that stuff to another person without talking dirty !
The reason I only investigated further when i saw the picture, is because of a gut feeling i had in my stomach, you know when you just don't feel 'quite right', or that something feels 'out of place'? Now, since i found these pictures and videos, i feel like everything is now pieced together.
I now don't know how to bring this up to him, because i went through his folders which is a clear invasion of his privacy. But then i think, well if i didn't feel the way i did, i would of had no reason to snoop. Although, I do feel heart broken and betrayed, considering he really didn't seem like the kind of guy who would do this. The fact he lied when he said he had not been sending guys any pictures, just makes feel like i can never trust him again.
I love him and wan't to be with him, and i wan't to hear his reasons as to why he did this.
What do you think? Should I hear him out or break up? How should i approach this when he returns?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
Scorpio
Cancer
