Should I or Shouldn't I?

[abcd1234]

I had a fallout with a friend a year and a half ago,the one who cut me off because I complained when he was late picking me up. Anyway he hasn't spoken to me well over a year and I would really like to reconcile. My cousin suggested I send him a birthday card for his birthday in June. I'm tempted but by the same token I don't want to set myself up to be hurt again if he doesn't respond. But it might be worth a try as one last stitch effort.

I also had another thought , Do you think he might want to reconcile and might feel funny getting in touch because he doesn't know what kind of response he'd get? I guess it might be a possibility.What would you do?

[deephiance]

you complained because he was late?

I would like to hear more about that before I give an honest opinion

[TwisttheLeaf]

I agree with deephiance. Something is missing in your explanation of what happened that broke things off between you two. Without more information, it's impossible to make a good judgement call here.

[TigerLover]

You should send one.
But don't send a birthday card in expectation of a response. Send one because it'll put a smile on his face and remind him of the good times you had together.
If he replies that's great but if he doesn't at least your friendship ended on a happier note.

[Cuddly]

Send one!

[Darius]

You want to know if it's possible he feels the same way you do. You want us to get into his head and judge his motives. We can't do that and neither can you. But it is very possible that he feels the same way and is afraid you will reject him if he reaches out to you. Or he might not be taking the first step because his pride is hurt. Or he could just be finished with you but it seems unlikely someone would end a long term friendship on this one episode in your lives. As others have said, there has to be more to this story.

[InbetweenDreams]

Yeah probably should hear more about the incident you had with him, if it was more of a trivial thing sure why not but i think a bit more background... Overall I don't think sending him a birthday card is going to change whatever the outcome will be but if you want to get opinions on your likelihood having success.

[abcd1234]

I posted my story about this a year ago but it was a long time so let me refresh it.I don't drive and he used to pick me up but the last couple years I would take the train to the closest stop to where he lives and he would pick me up at the station. He said he didn't mind but if it was really late at night he thought I should stay over and he would drive me back the next day.But this was usually when he had a party which was infrequent.Most of the times it would be a decent hour. Anyway he has this other friend who was an instigator and troublemaker.This man would always throw barbs at me about how I should learn to take other transportation to my friend's house rather than depend on him. I asked my friend if this was the way he felt and he said only on the real late nights I should stay over.
So on New Years day of 2016 he was 15 minutes late picking me up at the train station.It's all outdoors and there's no shelter.It was an open parking lot with a cold biting wind.So when he drives up he didn't say anything about the lateness so out of discomfort I said "It's cold,You're late" So he got annoyed and said "Well I have a party to plan and I got priorities" Meanwhile he had 2 friends at his house doing the cooking and other chores.Basically I think the instigator friend put his 2 cents in but he should have a mind of his own. We had an alright day and at night he had the priest who was a guest drive me home since the priest lives in my area which makes sense.After that he never called again.I tried callind and 2 months later I sent him a letter of apology saying we should talk it out after 33 years of friendship.I also said that I set up an uber account and he wouldn't have to worry about picking me up anymore.And he still hasn't responded.That was in March 2016.
Maybe since all this time has passed he might have cooled down.After all,he has all those years of memories just like me.He always said he thinks of me more as a brother than a friend. So that's the story guys.What do you think?

[InbetweenDreams]

I kind of remember your story. Well send him a card but it could be that either he, his other friend the troublemaker, see you as a moocher type or something along those lines so it might not go well and yeah being friends with someone longer than I have been alive is hard to imagine coming to an end. I had a friend for 10 years and came to a bitter end and it was kind of my fault but being the vastly different people it was doomed. So at any rate if the friendship is over for good, accept it and move on. It's good to remember the good times, but bad to persist in trying to fix something that is continuously broken.... There's a better way of wording that but, if your friendship is salvageable then he'll talk to you again and it may not be the birthday card that does it.

So in short, my thinking is that your chances are not good but there is no harm in sending him a card and you will at least know.

[deephiance]

If he hadn't of agreed to pick you up you would either be sitting on your arse at home doing what? or walking in the bitter cold to get to his house.

He was doing you a favour, but he was 15 minutes late because he was preparing for a party and he got lost in the moment and then you add a comment that make him feel unappreciated. You could have called a cab no?

I don't think a birthday card is going to cut it, but send it anyway.