Joe's Garage

[InbetweenDreams]

I have to say this song is more to my taste compared with the others.

Well, there are certainly some...weird songs and Frank Zappa has over 50 albums, so we're kind of scratching the surface here lol. Anyway, there is some good stuff on this album but it is a little later on...

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... again. Hi!...It's me again,
the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe says Lucille has messed his mind up,
but, was it the girl or was it the music? As you can see .. .girls, music,
disease, heartbreak.. .they all go together.. Joe found out the hard way, but
his troubles were just beginning... his mind was so messed up... he could
hardly do nothin' .. .He was in aquandary ... being devoured by the swirling
cesspool of his own steaming desires.. .the guy was a wreck.. .so.. .what
does he do? For once, he does something SMART...he goes out... and
pays a lot of money to L. Ron Hoover... at the First Church of Appliantology!

[Alvin]

Well, there are certainly some...weird songs and Frank Zappa has over 50 albums, so we're kind of scratching the surface here lol. Anyway, there is some good stuff on this album but it is a little later on...

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... again. Hi!...It's me again,
the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe says Lucille has messed his mind up,
but, was it the girl or was it the music? As you can see .. .girls, music,
disease, heartbreak.. .they all go together.. Joe found out the hard way, but
his troubles were just beginning... his mind was so messed up... he could
hardly do nothin' .. .He was in aquandary ... being devoured by the swirling
cesspool of his own steaming desires.. .the guy was a wreck.. .so.. .what
does he do? For once, he does something SMART...he goes out... and
pays a lot of money to L. Ron Hoover... at the First Church of Appliantology!

I mean...is this really a song? I would call it something like prelude or interlude in an album.

[InbetweenDreams]

I mean...is this really a song? I would call it something like prelude or interlude in an album.

lol it is a postlude... So Joe's Garage is 3 different acts... The Central Scrutinizer Postlude is the end of Act I... It is hard to follow. I think somewhere there was a group that actually performed this in a theater setting.

[Alvin]

lol it is a postlude... So Joe's Garage is 3 different acts... The Central Scrutinizer Postlude is the end of Act I... It is hard to follow. I think somewhere there was a group that actually performed this in a theater setting.

I checked the lyrics

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe has just learned to speak
German Now, get this, heres why he did it! He's gonna go to this club on
the other side of town, it's called THE CLOSET...
And they got these Appliances in there that really go for a guy dressed up
like a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean)... so
Joe's learned how to speak German, he goes in this place and he sees
these little Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he
sees this one...that looks like it's a cross between an industrial vacuum
cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body...
it's really exciting...and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG...

I wonder if those "machines" (Applicanetology) refer to sex toys. Why Joe has learned German? I once watched a documentary which claims that Germans tend to spend the most of time watching porn. Are these two related? Is this Act II now?

[InbetweenDreams]

I checked the lyrics




I wonder if those "machines" (Applicanetology) refer to sex toys. Why Joe has learned German? I once watched a documentary which claims that Germans tend to spend the most of time watching porn. Are these two related? Is this Act II now?

There is a good chance that there is a reference there lol and yes Act II starts with A Token of My Extreme




This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER. Joe and his date an going back
to the apartment to have a little party...

[InbetweenDreams]

[Act II]

[SCENE ELEVEN]
[SY BORG]

[JOE:]
Sy Borg
Gimme dat, gimme dat
Sy Borg
Gimme dat, give me de chromium leg,
I beg
Sy Borg
Gimme dat, gimme dat
Sy Borg
Gimme dat, give me de chromium leg,
Little wires, pliers, tires
They turn me on
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe I'm cra/y
Maybe I m crazy,
mon...

Stroking several of SY's gleaming appendages JOE continues...

Gee, Sy
This is a real groovy apartment
You've got here

[SY BORG:]
All government sponsored recreational services are clean and efficient

[JOE:]
This is exciting
I never plooked
A tiny chrome-plated machine
That looks like a magical pig
With marital aids stuck all over it
Such as yourself before

[SY BORG:]
You'll love it!
Its a way of life.

[JOE:]
Does that mean maybe later
You'll plook me....

[SY BORG:]
If you wish, we may have a groovy orgy

[JOE:]
Just me and yon?

[SY BORG:]
I share this apartment
With a modified
Gay Bob doll
He goes all the way...
Ever try oral sex with a miniature rubberized homo-replica?

[JOE:]
No, ah, not yet,
Ah, is this him?

[CENTRAL SCRUTINIZED]
This is him.
Your wish is his command
He likes you
He wants to kiss you always
Just tell him what you want

[JOE:]
Really?
Hi, little guy
Think I might get a tiny, but exciting
Blow.. .job...
Gimme dat, gimme dat
Blow job...
Gimme dat, give me de chromium cob.

[SY BORG:]
Bend over.

[JOE:]
Gay Bob
Blow job
Gimme dat, gimme dat
Blow job
Gimme dat, give me de chromium cob

[SY BORG:]
You'll love it!
It looks just like a TeleFunken U-47.

[JOE:]
Little leather cap and trousers
They look so gay..
Warren just bought some
Warren just bought some
Warren just bought some
Hey...

[SY BORG:]
Bob is tired.
Plook me now,
You savage rascal
Ehhh!
That tickles.
You are a fun person
I like you.
I want to kiss you always.

[JOE:]
Gee, this is great
Hows about some bondage and humiliation

[SY BORG:]
Anything you say, master.

[JOE:]
Oh no, I don't believe it
You're way more fun than Mary...

[SY BORG:]
You're plooking too hard...

[JOE:]
And cleaner than Lucille...

[SY BORG:]
Plooking on me...

[JOE:]
What have I been missing
All these years?

[SY BORG:]
Too hard

[JOE:]
Sy...

[SY BORG:]
Too hard

[JOE:]
Sy...

[SY BORG:]
Plooking too hard on me-e-e-e-e...

[JOE:]
Speak to me
Oh no...
The golden shower must have shorted out
His master circuit
He's, he's, oh my God
I must have plooked him...
Hey
To death...
Hey

[CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:]
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...You have just destroyed
one model XOJ-37 Nuclear Powered Pan-Sexual Roto-Plooker.
And you're gonna have to pay for it! So give up, you haven't
got a chance.

[JOE:]
But I...
I, I, I, I...
I can't pay
I gave all my money
To some kinda groovy religious guy...
Two songs ago...

[CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:]
Come on out son...
Between the two of us
We'll find a way to
Work it out

[Alvin]

There is a good chance that there is a reference there lol and yes Act II starts with A Token of My Extreme




This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER. Joe and his date an going back
to the apartment to have a little party...

I am really surprised that the songs are interlocked into a series of events which unfold the same way as a novel does. From the last song, it is clear at the end that he has learned German (No idea how he nailed it.), and now he has this half-German, half-English song. I really should pick up my German again.

So...is Joe bent? I wonder...

[InbetweenDreams]

I am really surprised that the songs are interlocked into a series of events which unfold the same way as a novel does. From the last song, it is clear at the end that he has learned German (No idea how he nailed it.), and now he has this half-German, half-English song. I really should pick up my German again.

So...is Joe bent? I wonder...

I would learn German just to say Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn. Pretty childish, but realistically German is a pretty cool language -- and closely related to English.




[Act II]

[SCENE TWELVE]
[DONG WORK FOR YUDA]

[CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:]
Hello there...this is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...
Joe was sent to a special prison where they keep all the
other criminals from the music business...you know...
the ones who get caught...it's a horrible place, painted
all green on the inside, where musicians and former executives
take turns snorting detergent and plooking each other...

(As the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER chuckles to himself for a moment,
FATHER RILEY, who became BUDDY JONES, steps into view in his
new identity: FATHER RILEY 8. JONES, Prison Chaplain, who, in a rather
heavy-handed piece of imagery, is now entrusted with the job of singing
this song as he assists the captured executives in their quest for new
meat to plook, and, once having found these victims for the princes of
the industry, trades them little blobs of sanctified lubricant jelly forcigarettes
and candy bars while he holds them down so the execs won't have to work
too hard when they stick it in.)
... Anyway, while he's in there he meets this guy who used to be
a promo man for a major record company, Bald-Headed John...
King of the Plookers...

[FATHER RILEY B. JONES:]
This is the story 'bout Bald-Headed John

[FORMER EXECS:]
Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong

[FATHER RILEY B. JONES:]
He talks a lot 'n it's usually wrong

[FORMER EXECS:]
Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong

[FATHER RILEY B. JONES:]
He said Dong was Wong,
'N Wong was Kong
'N Dong work for Yuda,
N John was wrong

[FORMER EXECS:]
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
Dong work for Yuda
Dong, Dong
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
He said Dong was Wong
And Wong was Kong
And Dong was Gong
'N John was wrong

[FATHER RILEY B. JONES:]
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
John's got a sausage that will make you fart
John's got a sausage that will break your heart
Make you fart
And break your heart
Don't bend over if you are smart
He took a little walk to the weenie stand
Johns got a sausage
Yeh man
A great big weenie in both his hands
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
He sucked on the end 'til the mustard squirt
He said. "Ya'll stand back 'cause you might get hurt'

[FORMER EXECS:]
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
Johns got a sausage
Yeh man
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
He said Dong was Wong
Wong was Kong
Kong was Gong
'N" John was wrong
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

[BALD-HEADED JOHN:]
Make way for the iron shaschige

[FORMER EXECS:]
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

[BALD-HEADED JOHN:]
I need a dozen towels so the boys can take a shower

[FORMER EXECS:]
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

[BALD-HEADED JOHN:]
Bartender, bring me a colada and milk

[FORMER EXECS:]
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

[BALD-HEADED JOHN:]
On second thought, make that a water . . .