Nephew found out a family secret

[Dan1980]

My nephew today has found out that my father isn't my biological father. He's 15 and it's broken his heart, saying that his grandad isn't his grandad. I have explained to him that he is his grandad and that he brought me and his mother up since I was 6 and she was 4.

I am finding it hard to explain to him, he doesn't want to listen. I have joint custody of him with my dad. He wa abandoned by his mother at birth. His relationship with his mother is better now, he has two brothers who live with her.

Any advice on how to handle this situation with him would be much appreciated. Many thanks.

[Camfer]

A family is defined by love much more than biology. I guess you just remind him how much love both you and his granddad have for him.

I am curious why this was a family secret kept from him until he was 15. It sounds like he has a lot to process. It's hard enough to communicate with a teenager, and now you have this big thing out in the open. You work to make him feel safe to feel what he feels and say what he needs to say, all the while emphasizing that you and his granddad really are there for him.

[lonelylad]

Bring your nephew to a place that he enjoys.

If he loves amusement parks, join with him in the amusement rides etc.

If he loves watching movies, bring him to the cinema and watch his favourite movie with him.

It will make him feel better.

After that, you can bring him to a quiet place to talk about it. Assure him that you will be a listening ear. Let him open up and share with you about his feelings and concerns regarding the issue.

Then, you can try to tell him about the nice, wonderful memories that your nephew share with his grandad. If you have pictures of those moments, you can try to show them to him. And also let him know that his grandad loves him no matter what.

This might take a multiple times.

I hope your nephew feels better soon.