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Why can't we be honest about what we want?
#1
Hi everyone, I've been wanting to express this opinion on Facebook and the like, but whenever the topic is brought up on certain gay-themed pages, the OP gets shat on, and I don't get it. While I do understand why the topic might be offensive to some, I feel it should be ok to have a differing opinion.

Anywhoo, the topic - having relations with someone who is transgender.

Late last year, being the open-minded type, I met up with a transguy I talked to on Grindr. He had been on hormone therapy for only 9 months up to that point, and had considered himself asexual until a few months after starting it. He realized he was gay, and wanted to explore his sexuality, which I was initially happy to help explore with him.

However, the experience was very dissatisfying. Everything was sensitive on his body, like his butt and his feet, so the experience wasn't as physical as it typically is during sex for me. I was willing to vaginally penetrate him, but it wasn't working, and I felt myself getting turned off. The whole thing ended with him climaxing (I'm pretty sure multi times) using some light-up rotating dildo device. It was....weird. Part of my brain was like "cool, he's getting to experience his sexuality in an open and honest way and that's great"; the other part of my brain was like "yeah, I'm really not into this". In the following days, he would text videos of his toys rotating and hoping to get back together, but I just kept looking at that and could not bring myself to do it. Frankly, I wanted nothing to do with vaginal toys or being with a guy who....doesn't understand what it is to be a guy ("you mean cisguys can't have multi-orgasms?").

I know this will completely get me labelled a transphobe. It's silly, because I'm 100% dedicated to ending these rash of bathroom bills and for advancing trans protections across the board, in employment, education, housing, etc etc. But the thought of me going down on vagina again, whether attached to a man or a woman, does not sit well with me. I can't do it.
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#2
Kind of sounds like your the one who can't be honest.

If your not into vagina, and I can totally understand that cause neither am I, then let your friend know that physically it's not working out. Your not transphobe, you just aren't into vagina.
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#3
I don't really see what the big deal is... You tried something you didn't like. So now you stop doing it. That's fine. Not being into ftmtrans doesn't make you transphobia. Just like me being gay doesn't make me a misogynist.
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#4
Who is this "we"? I think you're just talking about yourself. And you are clear about what you want and do not want. Don't spend any time worrying about how others are going to label your clarity. You're doing you, just fine.

Oh and by the way, CIS males can be multiply orgasmic. That might be a fun area of research for you! Do a search on multiple male orgasms.
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#5
You don't have to like everyone and/or want to be with every person. This doesn't make you a bigot, a phobe, or anything other than a normal human being. You're overthinking it.

I find female physique absolutely disgusting. I could never be physically involved with a female-to-male transsexual either.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
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#6
Anonymous Wrote:Frankly, I wanted nothing to do with ........ being with a guy who....doesn't understand what it is to be a guy ("you mean cisguys can't have multi-orgasms?").

And this right here? Is why you feel you are being labeled a "transphobe". Who are you to define "what it is to be a guy"? There are all kinds of guys out there, all levels of "masculinity". Why, just because you discovered you don't enjoy pussy (whether on a man or a woman), are you putting that on -him- when it's YOUR issue?

Now, that out of the way....

Congratulations man. You learned something new about yourself. You tried something, and it didn't work for you. Nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't make you a "transphobe". It's just not one of those things that gets you off.

Annnnnnnnd I can confirm that "cis" guys can indeed experience multiples, because I'm one of them... although it might have more to do with my partner than with me, since I'd never had them until I got together with [MENTION=20938]Gideon[/MENTION]. He's probably just -that- good. Lucky me, yeah?
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#7
*Flashes his boy a slow, slow grin*

Hmm right the topic. I'm going to agree with the others...there's nothing wrong with not being into it. You're entitled to your preference just like everyone else.

And just something that jumped out at me so I have to mention...why did it skeeve you that his body parts where sensitive? I like finding the sweet spots personally, so it makes me curious why this bugged you so much.
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  ok how about open and honest oldster 0 764 12-13-2011, 12:51 AM
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