Dating an Asian Guy

[InbetweenDreams]

He might be, also appears to be out of town visiting a friend in another state. He's moved around quite a bit too. Not saying that is a bad thing, as I am not sure if that might be due to work or what have you. But yeah I figure one date can't hurt and it is a long drive...it's a little over an hour from here. I live in a rural area, about 2 hours from Atlanta and any other larger city, so there's not much of any local scene. The area I'm is mostly tourists and folks who come up here to retire.

[marshlander]

Where I live sixty miles is normal for an evening out, although getting home again after 120 mile round trip and a standing only gig can be pretty tiring for us old folk! I don't know how I'll cope when music venues open up again, if they open up again. I know the incredulity I experience when I try and explain the number of free outdoor events I attended in my youth. I wonder if my children will have to explain to their grandchildren the concept of live performances?

Best wishes, @InbetweenDreams . I hope you have a nice time.

[InbetweenDreams]

@"marshlander" Unfortunately he cancelled on me. He is visiting a friend in Texas and his friend wanted him to stay another night. I can't really piss and moan about that. I get it. But we were also supposed to meet back on July 5th and he went about a week without messaging so ... yeah I don't know.

[andy]

Sorry to hear about that @InbetweenDreams... his loss though!? and there's plenty more gay fishies out in the big gay sea!

[marshlander]

@"marshlander" Unfortunately he cancelled on me. He is visiting a friend in Texas and his friend wanted him to stay another night. I can't really piss and moan about that. I get it. But we were also supposed to meet back on July 5th and he went about a week without messaging so ... yeah I don't know.

Hmm, how much do you value your dignity? Were he that interested I'd have expected him to make a bit more effort. If he's already stood you up twice ...

Hope life looks up soon.

[InbetweenDreams]

Sorry to hear about that @InbetweenDreams... his loss though!? and there's plenty more gay fishies out in the big gay sea!

Well I haven't wrote him off but not going to put as much energy in it unless he does. Got to meet someone halfway.

Seems like a lot of of catch and release lol. I will admit that I have been talking with a couple other guys who I haven't met either. I think perhaps one problem is that guys who live in a more populated area are kind of on the fence about dating someone who is 1-2 hours away, but that is speculation.

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Hmm, how much do you value your dignity? Were he that interested I'd have expected him to make a bit more effort. If he's already stood you up twice ...

Hope life looks up soon.

Perhaps I should accept some of the blame on the first time. Back in June he said he had July 5th off and wanted to meet and I agreed to it, but then he kind of disappeared for better part of a week and July 5th came and gone... I was the last to message him. Now in hindsight I probably should have messaged him but back then I kind of felt he had just ghosted me and I was prepared to just go about my business then he messaged me out of the blue wondering why I stopped messaging him. So, I kind of feel the first time was my fault but I also feel he's not really putting much effort in messaging back and forth... I talk to my ex more often lol

Sometimes thing stumble a bit and I try to look over things and I do think at times I look over too much?


And snapchat? I really hate using snapchat. I like making goofy photos and such but as a chat platform its hot garbage in my opinion.

[Bhp91126]

I apologize if I’m rude here, but could it be you’re being catfished? Are you really sure he is who he says he is? Have you had a video call with him to verify that? If someone chickens out of in-person meetings repeatedly something’s up in my experience.

[InbetweenDreams]

I apologize if I’m rude here, but could it be you’re being catfished? Are you really sure he is who he says he is? Have you had a video call with him to verify that? If someone chickens out of in-person meetings repeatedly something’s up in my experience.

Yeah I had one video call with him...on snapchat.

[CodyH]

Sorry to hear about that @InbetweenDreams... his loss though!? and there's plenty more gay fishies out in the big gay sea!

Well I haven't wrote him off but not going to put as much energy in it unless he does. Got to meet someone halfway.

Seems like a lot of of catch and release lol. I will admit that I have been talking with a couple other guys who I haven't met either. I think perhaps one problem is that guys who live in a more populated area are kind of on the fence about dating someone who is 1-2 hours away, but that is speculation.

---

Hmm, how much do you value your dignity? Were he that interested I'd have expected him to make a bit more effort. If he's already stood you up twice ...

Hope life looks up soon.

Perhaps I should accept some of the blame on the first time. Back in June he said he had July 5th off and wanted to meet and I agreed to it, but then he kind of disappeared for better part of a week and July 5th came and gone... I was the last to message him. Now in hindsight I probably should have messaged him but back then I kind of felt he had just ghosted me and I was prepared to just go about my business then he messaged me out of the blue wondering why I stopped messaging him. So, I kind of feel the first time was my fault but I also feel he's not really putting much effort in messaging back and forth... I talk to my ex more often lol

Sometimes thing stumble a bit and I try to look over things and I do think at times I look over too much?


And snapchat? I really hate using snapchat. I like making goofy photos and such but as a chat platform its hot garbage in my opinion.

Hmm yeah.... He shouldn't have made it seem like it was your fault. It takes two to tango. While yes you could have messaged him, but so could he. You can't be the one giving and initiating all the time. It gets exhausting and if he is like this with just something as simple as saying "Hi, how are you?" every so often then you can only imagine what he is like about other things. Everything is about give and take I always say. 

In regards to him cancelling your meeting this week, has he mentioned or gave you a date on when he can see you next? Or did he just cancel and didn't mention anything else?

I think you are fine looking over things. I do that too. But I believe in chances and that life just happens. The only thing is the effort he puts in afterwards. If it doesn't seem like there isn't much effort to make amends or make it up to you, then I feel like he might not be a good fit. At least not for a long-term serious relationship anyways.

[InbetweenDreams]

Hmm yeah.... He shouldn't have made it seem like it was your fault. It takes two to tango. While yes you could have messaged him, but so could he. You can't be the one giving and initiating all the time. It gets exhausting and if he is like this with just something as simple as saying "Hi, how are you?" every so often then you can only imagine what he is like about other things. Everything is about give and take I always say. 

In regards to him cancelling your meeting this week, has he mentioned or gave you a date on when he can see you next? Or did he just cancel and didn't mention anything else?

I think you are fine looking over things. I do that too. But I believe in chances and that life just happens. The only thing is the effort he puts in afterwards. If it doesn't seem like there isn't much effort to make amends or make it up to you, then I feel like he might not be a good fit. At least not for a long-term serious relationship anyways.

I didn't take it as he blamed me. I kind of blame snapchat because they delete everything, so even though I messaged him last...there wasn't any proof that I did. I think snapchat is good for being silly and possibly for exchanging less than savory pics (because they delete after viewing, get a notification if someone saves or takes a screenshot). But for more regular chat, just SMS or something like Facebook works fine.

Has didn't reschedule anything yet, I suppose that is because he is still out of state.

I guess I'll have to play it by ear. The main concern I had when I opened the thread was the cultural differences that he or I might be unaware of...but that is assuming I ever go down to meet him.