Merry, um...oh, just read it

[LONDONER]

To All my Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, hemisphere-inclusive celebration of this summer/winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2021, but not without due respect for the calendars of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make the United States a great nation (not to imply that the United States is necessarily greater than any other country in the world). Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, gender identity, physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation, education level, income bracket, choice of computer platform or operating system of the wishee.
Or:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Shoot away.